Gerald Lee Romney Patriarchal Blessing
(What is underlined is what he underlined on his original Patriarchal blessing.)
Brother Gerald Lee Romney, in accordance with your desires, and because of your worthiness in your life before the Lord, in the authority of the Holy Priesthood which I bear, and by virtue of the office and calling bestowed upon me, I place my hands upon your head, and as I shall be directed of the spirit, give unto you a patriarchal blessing, which shall be recorded in the heavens for you to receive the blessings, for they shall be sealed upon your head. And every blessing which you receive from the Almighty God, and gracious and loving Parent, is because of the obedience and compliance to the law, the ceremony and the ordinances upon which these blessings are predicated.
The Lord is pleased with you. He loves you. He has been mindful of you ever since your birth. You are one of those favored and choice spirits who, when the Stars of the Morning shouted for joy and all the sons of God sang together, you were there. And this shouting and this singing was in glorious praise because of the victory of Light and Truth and free agency, over darkness, deception and slavery, which is of the evil one. You were valiant in the defense of God’s plan for the salvation and exaltation of all His children. You knew the plan for mortality. You knew the gospel and the blessings of this, the most glorious period. You desired these blessings, and you sought for them and prayed for the opportunity to receive them. You have been privileged because of your worthiness to come into this mortal experience through the chosen and favored lineage, even that of Ephraim. You are a descendent of the great patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and Joseph, that great prophet-patriarch, who, as a boy, was sold into Egypt, and through his son, Ephraim, of whom you are, you are heir to every blessing which you desired and prayed for before your mortal existence. And being heir, through Ephraim, you shall receive, through your worthy life, every blessing you crave and desire, and the Lord shall not withhold from you every blessing of which you prove worthy. If you continue to trust in the Lord, following the dictates of the Still Small Voice, the promptings of His Holy Spirit, giving thanks to Him in earnest prayer, your prayers shall ascend to the throne of God and there be recorded for blessings upon your head.
And if you fail not to bow on your knees in humble acknowledgment and thanksgiving and supplicating God, our Father, for His preserving care for your journeyings, and before your returning from the journeyings, the preserving hand and power of the Lord shall be over you that you shall go and come without injury. You shall be blessed of the Lord to live and fill up the full mission, the full purpose of your mortality, in full measure. Your mind shall be enlightened in preparation for great and glorious blessings which shall come to you. He will bless you in your studies and in your preparations for your future life. And in the own due time of the Lord, you shall have the glorious privilege of carrying the gospel message of salvation to those who are in darkness and have not known Light and Truth, which is the true word of God. You shall be given the power of language, by His spirit to bear your testimony, on conviction and conversation to many, and your mission shall be a school-master, through training and direction of the spirit, you shall be prepared for ministry in His kingdom here in the earth.
You shall be guided by the spirit in the selection of a profession in which you may be successful, in which the time required for your ministry in His service shall not detract from your success in the ministry and in your profession. Each shall compliment the other for your well-being.
In the due time of the Lord you shall find your companion, a worthy, lovely daughter of our Father in Heaven, with whom you shall to into His Holy House, the Temple of our Lord, and there receive the blessings, the ceremonies and the priesthood ordinances, even the fullness thereof, which fullness is the sealing, in the authority of the priesthood, man and woman as eternal, celestial companions, which is the greatest blessing which God gives to His worthy children here in this mortal life. This opens the door to you and your companion to the glory which is of the presence of God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, where you shall reign in dominion for all generations to come, forever and forever.
And if you accept every call that is made of you by those who preside in the priesthood, accepting promptly, giving thanks to the Lord for the opportunity of serving, fulfilling completely and well, the priesthood shall be a power in your life, and in your home upon your companion and your children, for because of her preparation and your inspiration and preparation, your children shall be taught of the Lord and shall grow up in righteous fear of His law and the love of His word. They shall become stalwarts of strength in His kingdom. And if you tithe precisely and promptly, if you are liberal in giving to the church, in time and means, if you are generous in giving through the church for those who have not, your household shall be blessed with an abundance of the good things of the earth, your basket and your store shall not be diminished, but shall be increased, and the rich and choice blessings of Heaven shall abide in your home. The Lord shall require much of your time in His ministry, for you shall become a leader, you shall be given the gift of teaching, the power of directing and leadership among your fellow men and in the church. Your influence shall bring many who are inclined to waywardness and inactivity into the active service in His work, and many shall rise up and call you blessed for your service in their behalf.
The Spirit of Elijah shall rest upon you in power, that you shall understand and know genealogy and its need in the salvation for God’s children. And through your participation in the searching for records, great records shall be miraculously placed in your hands, which have not been known to exist. For many of those who have passed on without the glorious blessings which shall come to you and which you have received, have been waiting long for your coming into this mortality and for the service that you with your companion shall do for them vicariously in the temples of our Lord. You shall be called to direct and preside in temple, and you with your lovely companion shall be blessed to see and hear many of those for whom you serve singing in praise and thanksgiving to our Father in Heaven for your vicarious service in their behalf.
You and your lovely companion shall live to a full and ripe life, and you shall be blessed of the spirit to know in your mind and in your heart that your name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, and that your calling and election shall be sure. I bless you with health and with strength that you shall be uninhibited in carrying all which the Lord shall place upon you, for He shall not withhold from you His blessings. And every righteous desire of your heart, in the due time of the Lord, shall be granted unto you, for the eye hath not seen, nor the ear heard, neither can enter into the heart of mortal man, the glorious reward which God has in store for those who serve Him in righteousness and in Truth.
I seal you up to eternal life. I seal you up to come forth in the resurrection of the just and the honored of this great dispensation. I seal this blessing upon your head, in the authority and the power of the Holy Priesthood which I bear, and in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, even so, Amen.
El Paso (259) Texas
3 November 1966
Moroni L. Abegg
GERALD LEE ROMNEY
Ianthus B. Romney Eleanor Brown
13 Bebruary 1950, Silver City, New Mexico
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
April's journal 10/7-10/15
1982-10-07
Marshall came today to visit Gerald. It was hard because he has been gone so much away from is own family on business, but came to help Herald and cheer him up. He is a dear, kind brother.
There is such an out-pouring of love for our family; it is very hard to believe people could be so loving and caring. How we will ever return it all I don’t’ know, but I will have a happy life trying!
1982-10-08
Gerald was released from the hospital today. His blood counts were higher and the blockage passed so he was released. It is so good to have him home again. The children miss him so and he misses them. They all seem to adjust, though, under all the stress. 2 weeks ago (September 26) in the doctor’s office (Dr. Skelly) when Gerald and I went in for supposedly the #3 of ABVD, Gerald broke down for a moment and wept because of the extreme difficulty he has in facing the chemotherapy. It is so grueling and painful. He then said, “Why do I have to go through with this, I know this drug isn’t working.” Dr. Skelly then responded, that he agreed and that he felt Gerald would die from the illness. He told us not as a doctor, he said, but as a friend. He and Gerald are close—same age, coloring, he has 2 children, with beautiful wives! A very compassionate man. We love and appreciate Dr. Skelly. Anyway, just hearing all of this has been very difficult. I kept hearing him say those words over and over again each time I would close my eyes. Even though Gerald and I felt we knew inside, actually hearing them was very hard to deal with. But that has not discouraged us. (Written on the side. The next day, Dr. Skelly told me Gerald would only probably live 1 to 2 years.) WE feel that it will be the Power of the Priesthood that will cure Gerald ultimately. Maybe it won’t cure him—maybe it is the Lord’s plan he not be on the earth much longer. But whatever, I KNOW the Lord is in charge and will lead us through all these problems. I wonder if I have the faith sufficient to heal Gerald. Until this time, I always felt that faith was a very easy principle for me to live. As I realize the life of the one person I love more than anyone is hanging in the balance, I worry for fear my faith is not sufficient. I know the Lord can heal Gerald if he wants to. But is it right for me to exercise my faith to the degree that the Lord is bound to heal Gerald and yet it is not his will or plan? Is it sufficient to say, “I know you can heal him if Thou wants” Or do I need to develop the faith that I know he will be healed.
I have plead with the Lord. I have told him that Gerald is his. I have told Him that I will place him in the Lord’s hands if he wants. I have given Him my beloved husband—maybe not willingly—but is that possible? But I have given him with a desire to do the Lord’s will. I know if I rebel or be resentful, the Lord’s plan will come anyway and then I will be denied the gift of the Comforter which will help me even more. I know that if the Lord takes Gerald the Lord must have the confidence in me that I will be successful in leading my life and causing raising the children alone. If the Lord has confidence in me, I am stronger. Then what am I afraid of? I guess the only ting is the unknown. That is always the worst. Even if the worst happens, it is not as bad as wondering and worrying that the worst thing will happen!
1982-10-09
It is 11:50. I still have to bathe and curl my hair. It seems that I just never get to bed before midnight on Saturday. I love to have the house all in order for the Sabbath, table set, clothes set out, pressed, all ready—I love it!
1982-10-10
Gerald went to church today, but had a very difficult time. His breathing seems to be getting harder and harder. I pray the Lord will intervene. Marshall left this evening. We had a lovely, lovely visit. It did wonders for Gerald.
I am so tired. It seems there are very few minutes to myself anymore. It will come later, I am sure. My beets, peas, and onions are coming up now!
1982-10-11
Reorder priorities:
Read scriptures
Prayer as a couple
FHE
Be consistent!!!
These are a few of the areas Gerald thinks we need to be consistent in. I am SO weary. I will explain tomorrow.
1982-10-12
Gerald and I read an article by Gene R. Cook in the Oct. 1982 New Era. It was entitled “Faith.” In it, he answered some of the questions I have been having regarding that principle. He said, Faith is power. Pure and simple.
Gene R. Cook, “Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ,” New Era, Oct 1982, Link:
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=024644f8f206c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=8702ad74be99b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1
1982-10-13 (Wednesday)
It is now 4:20 AM. I have not been able to sleep because Gerald has been up nearly all night. For the past few days—actually since he got out of the hospital on Friday he has been very short of breath. We have been worried and it has been a very naggy, uneasy feeling. It meant 2 things 1. The HD is growing at an extremely rapid rate and crowding the lungs, or 2. It was some kind of bronchial problem or pneumonia. After last night, we think it is the latter. He has suddenly in the last 12 hours begun to wheeze and rattle in his chest. I don’t know what all this means. Today we were supposed to go to Tucson to get his 2nd treatment of Vindolasine. His temperature has been running 100.5 almost the entire time. We will now go in to see Dr. Skelly before we go to Tucson. If Gerald is hospitalized I would prefer it be up here so I can be near the children. If it were in Tucson I couldn’t come home and someone would have to come to watch them. Gerald has lost so much weight. He weighs only about 130. His blood counts were up yesterday though to 7.2 for his white count. Maybe I should have taken him in yesterday.
There is one topic I should like to discuss at this time, but it is something that has not turned out too favorably. I do so for a purpose, however. It is my policy that I do not write a lot of negative things in my journal, but this is a topic which has consistently caused much heartache and trouble of the past 2 years. Gerald’s Mom has had cancer for 5 years. It has been melanoma. A spot on her arm was found quickly growing and changing. She went to the doctor; he excised it, and found the results. She went to MD Anderson Clinic in Houston. They reaffirmed the diagnosis, but found it to be nowhere else in her body. Consequently no treatment was given. She left feeling frustrated and decided she had to do something—not just wait for something to happen (the cancer to crop up somewhere else, etc.) So she went to a clinic in Jamaica, learned the “Natural Program” and has been on that program ever since. It has been wonderful for her. Whether or not the program has cured her cancer or just by cutting the melanoma out did it, I don’t know, BUT—it have her something to do—not just sit around. She is in good health now.
When Gerald was first diagnosed with HD we knew we would have to battle Mother because she would oppose all that we did if we went the conventional means of Gerald’s treatment. Needless to say, we have had to deal with the constant pressure of that for 2 years. Time and time again, Gerald and I have reconsidered our decision. We have fasted and prayed. Many times and when it has come down to the final wire and we have had to make a decision, we have felt an empty, confused, and “knot in the stomach” sort of feeling about the “Natural Program.” In the last few weeks Gerald agreed to take some of the enzymes, VitA, Vit C in massive doses. But it is sort of “all or nothing” with Mother. There are many more details to this story that go unsaid. The main thing I want one to get out of this is that:
In any decision in life, one can only choose for himself. The responsibility to be worthy and in tune with the Holy Ghost is great, but ultimately no one can make that decision for him. He must work it out with the Lord.
One must respect one’s decisions. What is good for one is not necessarily good for another.
It has been my observation that Mormons, many times, fall prey to many “Natural” methods. I think this is sometimes confused with the Word of Wisdom and the self sufficient attitude we must all obtain. However, my deep feeling is that we live in a glorious time where the Lord has enlightened men’s minds to discover many things in the field of medicine. This is a time when much has been learned. Medicine doesn’t have all the answers, but I feel they are inspired men. Now I must also say that there is much good in herbs, natural healing etc. I feel that we can use more of these things to help us daily. But I feel it is the tendency of many to become fanatical about all of this. There is good in both methods.
In my opinion, whether Gerald lives or dies is not dependent on which program he chose. It is dependent on the Lord’s plan for him. If he is not appointed unto death, then by FAITH in the POWER of the PRIESTHOOD he will be healed. We can’t just sit around and do nothing, however, we must do something.
3:00PM
I am sitting in the doctor’s office now. Dr. Jones and Dr. Takasuke have gone over to the lab to check Gerald’s x-rays. I am so overcome with fear. I am fighting back the tears for Gerald, feeling so nauseous I could throw up any second. I am so hot I feel faint. I don’t like these few moments of waiting. I pray to my Heavenly Father every few minutes for strength. Gerald knows my feelings without even saying words. All he can manage to say is “Bunny, be of good cheer—that is part of being valiant!” That was the theme of a talk given by Neil Maxwell we read today.
The doctor just told us the worst. Gerald has not even months, probably weeks to live. THE LORD MUST INTERVENE SOON!!! The HD is growing at an amazing rate. Vindolasine is not working. We can choose what to do—a drug called “orange crush” (little known about it working on HD) or do nothing—The doctor left us for a few moments to collect our thoughts—we have decided this: We will take the drug and call all the family tonight to see if they can come mid next week or next weekend for our fast. We will pay for their plane fares! He will need oxygen on a daily basis, Also—we will not alarm the children at this point. We will let them join the fast and prayers when the family comes. I am going to call Linda and Dick and Tulie and Dawn and tell them I will pay for their way if they can come too.
Link to Neal A. Maxwell “Be of Good Cheer”
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=1ca9c5e8b4b6b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1
1982-10-15
Much has happened in the past 24 hours. Much sadness, much love, much joy, and much faith. I want to record the incidents of this day in detail. He has gone down hill so fast today. So fast—so fast—so fast. He is breathing almost 90% of the time with oxygen.
Marshall came today to visit Gerald. It was hard because he has been gone so much away from is own family on business, but came to help Herald and cheer him up. He is a dear, kind brother.
There is such an out-pouring of love for our family; it is very hard to believe people could be so loving and caring. How we will ever return it all I don’t’ know, but I will have a happy life trying!
1982-10-08
Gerald was released from the hospital today. His blood counts were higher and the blockage passed so he was released. It is so good to have him home again. The children miss him so and he misses them. They all seem to adjust, though, under all the stress. 2 weeks ago (September 26) in the doctor’s office (Dr. Skelly) when Gerald and I went in for supposedly the #3 of ABVD, Gerald broke down for a moment and wept because of the extreme difficulty he has in facing the chemotherapy. It is so grueling and painful. He then said, “Why do I have to go through with this, I know this drug isn’t working.” Dr. Skelly then responded, that he agreed and that he felt Gerald would die from the illness. He told us not as a doctor, he said, but as a friend. He and Gerald are close—same age, coloring, he has 2 children, with beautiful wives! A very compassionate man. We love and appreciate Dr. Skelly. Anyway, just hearing all of this has been very difficult. I kept hearing him say those words over and over again each time I would close my eyes. Even though Gerald and I felt we knew inside, actually hearing them was very hard to deal with. But that has not discouraged us. (Written on the side. The next day, Dr. Skelly told me Gerald would only probably live 1 to 2 years.) WE feel that it will be the Power of the Priesthood that will cure Gerald ultimately. Maybe it won’t cure him—maybe it is the Lord’s plan he not be on the earth much longer. But whatever, I KNOW the Lord is in charge and will lead us through all these problems. I wonder if I have the faith sufficient to heal Gerald. Until this time, I always felt that faith was a very easy principle for me to live. As I realize the life of the one person I love more than anyone is hanging in the balance, I worry for fear my faith is not sufficient. I know the Lord can heal Gerald if he wants to. But is it right for me to exercise my faith to the degree that the Lord is bound to heal Gerald and yet it is not his will or plan? Is it sufficient to say, “I know you can heal him if Thou wants” Or do I need to develop the faith that I know he will be healed.
I have plead with the Lord. I have told him that Gerald is his. I have told Him that I will place him in the Lord’s hands if he wants. I have given Him my beloved husband—maybe not willingly—but is that possible? But I have given him with a desire to do the Lord’s will. I know if I rebel or be resentful, the Lord’s plan will come anyway and then I will be denied the gift of the Comforter which will help me even more. I know that if the Lord takes Gerald the Lord must have the confidence in me that I will be successful in leading my life and causing raising the children alone. If the Lord has confidence in me, I am stronger. Then what am I afraid of? I guess the only ting is the unknown. That is always the worst. Even if the worst happens, it is not as bad as wondering and worrying that the worst thing will happen!
1982-10-09
It is 11:50. I still have to bathe and curl my hair. It seems that I just never get to bed before midnight on Saturday. I love to have the house all in order for the Sabbath, table set, clothes set out, pressed, all ready—I love it!
1982-10-10
Gerald went to church today, but had a very difficult time. His breathing seems to be getting harder and harder. I pray the Lord will intervene. Marshall left this evening. We had a lovely, lovely visit. It did wonders for Gerald.
I am so tired. It seems there are very few minutes to myself anymore. It will come later, I am sure. My beets, peas, and onions are coming up now!
1982-10-11
Reorder priorities:
Read scriptures
Prayer as a couple
FHE
Be consistent!!!
These are a few of the areas Gerald thinks we need to be consistent in. I am SO weary. I will explain tomorrow.
1982-10-12
Gerald and I read an article by Gene R. Cook in the Oct. 1982 New Era. It was entitled “Faith.” In it, he answered some of the questions I have been having regarding that principle. He said, Faith is power. Pure and simple.
Gene R. Cook, “Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ,” New Era, Oct 1982, Link:
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=024644f8f206c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=8702ad74be99b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1
1982-10-13 (Wednesday)
It is now 4:20 AM. I have not been able to sleep because Gerald has been up nearly all night. For the past few days—actually since he got out of the hospital on Friday he has been very short of breath. We have been worried and it has been a very naggy, uneasy feeling. It meant 2 things 1. The HD is growing at an extremely rapid rate and crowding the lungs, or 2. It was some kind of bronchial problem or pneumonia. After last night, we think it is the latter. He has suddenly in the last 12 hours begun to wheeze and rattle in his chest. I don’t know what all this means. Today we were supposed to go to Tucson to get his 2nd treatment of Vindolasine. His temperature has been running 100.5 almost the entire time. We will now go in to see Dr. Skelly before we go to Tucson. If Gerald is hospitalized I would prefer it be up here so I can be near the children. If it were in Tucson I couldn’t come home and someone would have to come to watch them. Gerald has lost so much weight. He weighs only about 130. His blood counts were up yesterday though to 7.2 for his white count. Maybe I should have taken him in yesterday.
There is one topic I should like to discuss at this time, but it is something that has not turned out too favorably. I do so for a purpose, however. It is my policy that I do not write a lot of negative things in my journal, but this is a topic which has consistently caused much heartache and trouble of the past 2 years. Gerald’s Mom has had cancer for 5 years. It has been melanoma. A spot on her arm was found quickly growing and changing. She went to the doctor; he excised it, and found the results. She went to MD Anderson Clinic in Houston. They reaffirmed the diagnosis, but found it to be nowhere else in her body. Consequently no treatment was given. She left feeling frustrated and decided she had to do something—not just wait for something to happen (the cancer to crop up somewhere else, etc.) So she went to a clinic in Jamaica, learned the “Natural Program” and has been on that program ever since. It has been wonderful for her. Whether or not the program has cured her cancer or just by cutting the melanoma out did it, I don’t know, BUT—it have her something to do—not just sit around. She is in good health now.
When Gerald was first diagnosed with HD we knew we would have to battle Mother because she would oppose all that we did if we went the conventional means of Gerald’s treatment. Needless to say, we have had to deal with the constant pressure of that for 2 years. Time and time again, Gerald and I have reconsidered our decision. We have fasted and prayed. Many times and when it has come down to the final wire and we have had to make a decision, we have felt an empty, confused, and “knot in the stomach” sort of feeling about the “Natural Program.” In the last few weeks Gerald agreed to take some of the enzymes, VitA, Vit C in massive doses. But it is sort of “all or nothing” with Mother. There are many more details to this story that go unsaid. The main thing I want one to get out of this is that:
In any decision in life, one can only choose for himself. The responsibility to be worthy and in tune with the Holy Ghost is great, but ultimately no one can make that decision for him. He must work it out with the Lord.
One must respect one’s decisions. What is good for one is not necessarily good for another.
It has been my observation that Mormons, many times, fall prey to many “Natural” methods. I think this is sometimes confused with the Word of Wisdom and the self sufficient attitude we must all obtain. However, my deep feeling is that we live in a glorious time where the Lord has enlightened men’s minds to discover many things in the field of medicine. This is a time when much has been learned. Medicine doesn’t have all the answers, but I feel they are inspired men. Now I must also say that there is much good in herbs, natural healing etc. I feel that we can use more of these things to help us daily. But I feel it is the tendency of many to become fanatical about all of this. There is good in both methods.
In my opinion, whether Gerald lives or dies is not dependent on which program he chose. It is dependent on the Lord’s plan for him. If he is not appointed unto death, then by FAITH in the POWER of the PRIESTHOOD he will be healed. We can’t just sit around and do nothing, however, we must do something.
3:00PM
I am sitting in the doctor’s office now. Dr. Jones and Dr. Takasuke have gone over to the lab to check Gerald’s x-rays. I am so overcome with fear. I am fighting back the tears for Gerald, feeling so nauseous I could throw up any second. I am so hot I feel faint. I don’t like these few moments of waiting. I pray to my Heavenly Father every few minutes for strength. Gerald knows my feelings without even saying words. All he can manage to say is “Bunny, be of good cheer—that is part of being valiant!” That was the theme of a talk given by Neil Maxwell we read today.
The doctor just told us the worst. Gerald has not even months, probably weeks to live. THE LORD MUST INTERVENE SOON!!! The HD is growing at an amazing rate. Vindolasine is not working. We can choose what to do—a drug called “orange crush” (little known about it working on HD) or do nothing—The doctor left us for a few moments to collect our thoughts—we have decided this: We will take the drug and call all the family tonight to see if they can come mid next week or next weekend for our fast. We will pay for their plane fares! He will need oxygen on a daily basis, Also—we will not alarm the children at this point. We will let them join the fast and prayers when the family comes. I am going to call Linda and Dick and Tulie and Dawn and tell them I will pay for their way if they can come too.
Link to Neal A. Maxwell “Be of Good Cheer”
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=1ca9c5e8b4b6b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1
1982-10-15
Much has happened in the past 24 hours. Much sadness, much love, much joy, and much faith. I want to record the incidents of this day in detail. He has gone down hill so fast today. So fast—so fast—so fast. He is breathing almost 90% of the time with oxygen.
Excerpts from “A Tribute to Gerald” written by Pamela Openshaw
Excerpts from “A Tribute to Gerald” written by his sister Pamela Openshaw
In this singular experience we call mortality there are times of intense joy and times of aching sadness. The experiences related here are clearly times which encompass both extremes of the broad spectrum of human emotion.
In the dark night hours of October 13/14, each of us received a call from Gerald and April: “Can you come—right away?” The voices, strained with tears and pain, foretold the dreaded news: Medical science had given up—there was nothing further they could do in their battle to cure Gerald’s Hodgkin’s disease. The cancer had become drug-resistant; it was growing rapidly and there were possibly only weeks left. A visit to the doctor that day had proved the culmination of all our worst fears: Gerald was dying.
Once source of help remained—the source that could provide the truth, peace and understanding—the Lord. Gerald asked that we come to Mesa to join he and April in a united family appeal to the Lord in Gerald’s behalf. Each received the news with shock: The Monday before Gerald had developed problems breathing—shortness of breath, nails turning blue, difficulty walking. He was unable to lie down to sleep, and had lost a great deal of weight. There was one drug left—it had never worked on a Hodgkin’s patient before, but they could try. Gerald said, enough was enough.
Meanwhile Mom and Dad talked with President Wright, the Mesa temple president and obtained permission for a special temple session in Gerald’s behalf—to take place at noon on Saturday. This was a “miracle in itself.” As President Wright said that we could even have this special session. President Wright offered his office for the family prayer and Dad’s blessing on Gerald to be offered in conjunction with the temple session.
We all realized the situation was very serious and we had much to petition the Lord for.
Under Gerald’s direction, we held a short devotional before departing for the temple. Gerald requested that Pam read D&C 42:48
“And again, it shall come to pass that he that hath faith to be healed, and is not appointed unto death, shall be healed.”
This scripture had become a source of real comfort and faith to Gerald in the last weeks of his life, holding promise that the Lord hears and can heal. Asking if there were any others who would like to read and offer scriptures, Pam began and Luana finished reading D&C 121:7-8:
“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it will, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”
April read Moroni 7:34-37
“And he hath said: Repent all ye ends of the earth, and come unto me, and be baptized in my name, and have faith in me, that ye may be saved. And now, my beloved brethren, if this be the case that these tings are true which I have spoken unto you, and God will show unto you, with power and great glory at the last day, that they are true, and if they are true has the day of miracles ceased? Or have angels ceased to appear unto the children of men? Or has he withheld the power of the Holy Ghost from them? Or will he, so long as time shall last, or the earth shall stand, or there shall be one man upon the face thereof to be saved? Behold I say unto you, Nay; for it is by faith that miracles are wrought; and it is by faith that angels appear and minister unto men; wherefore, if these things have ceased wo be unto the children of men, for it is because of unbelief, and all is vain.”
Karen quoted, from memory: Deuteronomy 31: 6
“Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”
Gerald read D&C 6:34-37
“Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail. Behold, I do not condemn you; go your ways and sin no more; perform with soberness the work which I have commanded you. Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not. Behold the wounds which pierced my side, and also the prints of the nails in my hands and feet; be faithful, keep my commandments, and ye shall inherit the kingdom of heaven. Amen.
Gerald then reminded us of why we had all come; that we were asking the Lord for a miracle, and that he was asking to know the will of the Lord—whether he was to be healed or taken.
During the Chapel meeting Gerald had requested to speak to the assembled group. He thanked all for coming and explained why we were assembled—to ask a blessing of the Lord. He had prayed for a crisis to come so he would know the will of the Lord, that he was willing to accept the will of the Lord; that he felt he would be told one of three things—Yes he would live, no he would not, or that the time had not yet come for him to be given the answer. He explained that he felt no bitterness before the Lord for the trials that had befallen him, that he felt a closeness to the Lord and felt Jesus Christ was his special friend and that he dedicated his soul to the Lord. It was a beautiful experience for us—a sweet, peaceful, spirit-nurturing time, when we felt love for each other, and for Gerald, and for God. It was a time of expectation, knowing that the blessing we all came to hear pronounced would soon be given. It was a time of deep, soulful pleading with God to bless Gerald; to heal him if that was best—directing our fullest efforts toward those pleas, stretching ourselves to extend our faith to the fullest in Gerald’s behalf.
The peaceful, loving, joyous feeling of expectation went with us into the session. Gerald grew visably stronger as the session progressed—he moved from the wheelchair to a regular seat and required no oxygen throughout the session; he breathed easier and was able to stand and sit without assistance. What a thrill it was to stand at that beautiful place—the prayer circle, all together as a complete family! ?Gerald later commented that as he stood and looked behind him in the temple session, every person he saw was someone he loved; and that the Celestial room was like the Celestial Kingdom would be. He was seeing more than we were—he felt the veil was so thin for him and he was receiving his strength from the Sprit as it carried him through. ?
After the session all family members went into the Temple President’s office for a family prayer circle.
There was immense unity of purpose among those present and the desire for complete submsssion to the will of the Father. Gerald began the family prayer circle. In a voice physically frail, trembling, evident of weakness and pain and long-suffering, yet spiritually strong and powerful, he spoke very directly, fully confident that his words would be heard by a mindful Father. He read phrases from his Patriarchial blessing to the Lord, explaining that he felt some of these blessings remained yet to be fulfilled in mortality, and he reminded the Lord of the other blessings he had been given and promises made. He spoke of his concern for his wife and children, reminding the Lord of their young ages; he felt that he hadn’t taught them all he needed to, commenting that he and April had only 9 years together. He said he had felt no bitterness or anger at what had befallen him, but had tried to be an example of how a person should conduct himself under adversity. He asked the Lord to heal him, but stated his willingness to do the Lord’s will, whatever it be. He had known a crisis was coming—where his life would hang in the balance and the Lord’s will would be made known to him.
Concluding, Gerald asked April to pray, and in a voice frequently filled with tears, yet steady and confident, she stated that in the nine and a half years they’d had together as man and wife, they’d achieved a unity most couples took a lifetime to gain. She spoke of her intense desire to have Gerald remain, yet promised he could go with no bitterness on her part if it was the Lord’s will. She promised that if Gerald was taken, she would dedicate her life to raising their children as Gerald and as He would want.
Each member of the immediate family had the opportunity to offer a prayer to Heavenly Father in Gerald’s behalf.
It is noteworthy that each individual praying stated our willingness, as individuals and family, to abide by the will of the Lord; our desires to keep Gerald with us and have him healed were powerful, but more powerful was our desire to abide by the plan of a loving Eternal Father.
Gerald’s great desire from this blessing was to know one thing—would he live or die. Others of us had come to ask more; that he be healed, unless it was contrary to God’s will. We did not ask whether he be healed slowly or instantly, but just that he be healed.
Dad’s blessing spoken simply, referred to the unity of the group assembled. It told us that we had exercised sufficient faith for Gerald to be healed—that Dad personally did not believe Gerald was to be called home. We were told that the Lord’s will would be done, that Gerald would be healed according to HIS??(GOD’S?) true faith and desires, and Gerald was commended into the hands of the Lord. But we were not told that Gerald was to be healed—though we prayed intensely, desired that intensely throughout the blessing, we did not hear those words.
At the conclusion of the blessing the room was quiet as we struggled for an understanding of the blessing that had been given. What had really been promised? There had been a positive feeling to the blessing, but we remained ignorant of the final outcome of Gerald’s situation. Gerald himself seemed to be struggling with these thoughts and as we split into smaller groups and headed for the dressing rooms there was a feeling of uncertainty as we sifted through our feelings to try to understand, and questioned each other to clarify our own impressions. This clarification process continued for the remainder of the time we were together and up until Gerald’s death ten days later, when we finally understood the Lord’s will and could see the meaning of the blessing.
None of us really knew, as we said goodbye, that we would never see Gerald in mortality again.
On Sunday October 17th the scouts that he taught came to give Gerald the Sacrament. Before the scouts departed he asked if he could say a few words and we all eagerly agreed. He began by saying: “I don’t know how much your parents have told you, but I’m very ill and only a miracle will same me.” He said there were things he wanted to tell them that he wanted them to never forget. He bore his testimony to the truthfulness of the Godpel of Jesus Christ and stated that he gained that testimony on his mission. He said he had always wanted to go on a mission and that there were things he had done before his mission that had prepared him: going to church, reading the scriptures, having goodly parents, scouting experiences, going to Seminary. But his mission was what gave him his testimony. He challenged the boys to develop testimonies of their own, as the time would come when they could not stand on the borrowed testimonies of others. He challenged each of them to go on a mission. He admonished them to start now, to not become impatient, but to do all they should and all else would follow. The testimony he bore was beautiful—in a voice steady and sure inspite of its infirmities, he spoke with love, in words geared to boys of that age., with simplicity, with obvious great faith, with a strong desire to assist these boys—grasping every possible opportunity to teach them. It was a marvelous experience for us all—touching and poignant—one that will remain in memory.
That night Gerald reached a small milestone that was so very big. He was able to breathe on his back without difficulty. The start of the miracle. It was a happy time—we were all excited and optimistic; we laughed and joked and talked enthusiastically of larger goals for further down the road. A joyous peacefulness pervaded all—the Lord had told us yes; Gerald was going to get well and the nightmare of his illness would end. We told ourselves that, in small groups and large, and in many one on one situations.
When the time came, each of us said goodbye to Gerald—each offering love and encouragement to him. We all believed, we all hoped he was to be healed—we would see him in five weeks at the wedding and he would be better. There were challenges offered to Gerald—to be 10 pounds heavier, to be ready to play a racquetball game or go jogging. We didn’t know then that we would re-assemble in just a few days to attend Gerald’s funeral. Those farewells were touching as we bid good-bye to other family members.
How do you trace the final days before death? What words can convey the individual shock—unique, yet ultimately the same—when we were finally given the answer we had asked for, that Gerald was “appointed unto death:, that he had finished his mortal mission and was going Home.
On October 26, at 12:31 Arizona time, with April’s arms around him as he lay on the couch in his living room, Gerald slipped quietly out of mortality. He went peacefully, having been in a coma since the night before, when Dad had given him a blessing promising him rest. The Lord had answered his prayers that his trails be shortened, and we at long last knew the final outcome of Gerald’s illness.
Some things are better understood in retrospect. Perhaps death is one of those things.
How overwhelmingly blessed we felt that we had had that weekend with Gerald before his death!! How much we saw the hand of a loving Father who gave us that weekend as a blessing for the faith, prayers and fasting we had offered for so long in Gerald’s behalf, and as a cushion for what was to come. We had asked for one answer and gotten another, yet there was peace in that answer—we felt reassured that all was as it should be. Just as earthly parents sometimes tell their children no because their wisdom sees a further future, so an all-wise Heavenly Father must sometimes say no to our sincere pleadings, knowing of an eternal future more pressing than the wants of today.
We had been protected from the final outcome, and so, until the very end, we all thought the Lord was going to let us keep Gerald here with us. Even as he became weaker and slipped further downhill, unable to meet the goals he had set, unable to walk unaided, requiring more oxygen, we hadn’t known it was to be this way. What would we have done if the Lord had told us in the family prayer circle in the temple that Gerald would not live? Our despair would have been immense, our last hours with him painful, our farewells agonizing. Instead, a loving Father, who could not tell us yes, left us with peace and a positive feeling, which we then interpreted as the yes we wanted.
We are comforted in Gerald’s passing—the powerful feelings we knew there in the temple have left us no doubt that he was wanted at Home; that he was ready to go and prepared to meet his Father; that nothing else we could have done would have changed that final answer.
There are questions in our minds; some puzzlement over things promised in blessings that, to our mortal eyes, seem unfulfilled. But as we struggle for understanding, our thoughts ring true: Perhaps we see only the restrictive perimeters of mortality—we draw the lines too tightly between mortality and the Spirit World. Gerald still lives; he is progressing and developing his talents; his blessings can be brought to pass there. He is, perhaps very close to us still.
Rather then feeling sadness that we will never again stand in mortality as a complete family in the prayer circle of the temple, we choose, instead, to be grateful that we got to stand united once.
We’re grateful for Gerald’s example to us—his closeness to his Father, his acceptance of his lot, his uncomplaining spirit.
We bask in the legacy of love he left—the increased love in our families—strong families grown stronger because of Gerald.
We cherish the faith we developed; the increased trust in the Lord, and the hope that He is pleased that we are trying mightily to understand and accept.
In this singular experience we call mortality there are times of intense joy and times of aching sadness. The experiences related here are clearly times which encompass both extremes of the broad spectrum of human emotion.
In the dark night hours of October 13/14, each of us received a call from Gerald and April: “Can you come—right away?” The voices, strained with tears and pain, foretold the dreaded news: Medical science had given up—there was nothing further they could do in their battle to cure Gerald’s Hodgkin’s disease. The cancer had become drug-resistant; it was growing rapidly and there were possibly only weeks left. A visit to the doctor that day had proved the culmination of all our worst fears: Gerald was dying.
Once source of help remained—the source that could provide the truth, peace and understanding—the Lord. Gerald asked that we come to Mesa to join he and April in a united family appeal to the Lord in Gerald’s behalf. Each received the news with shock: The Monday before Gerald had developed problems breathing—shortness of breath, nails turning blue, difficulty walking. He was unable to lie down to sleep, and had lost a great deal of weight. There was one drug left—it had never worked on a Hodgkin’s patient before, but they could try. Gerald said, enough was enough.
Meanwhile Mom and Dad talked with President Wright, the Mesa temple president and obtained permission for a special temple session in Gerald’s behalf—to take place at noon on Saturday. This was a “miracle in itself.” As President Wright said that we could even have this special session. President Wright offered his office for the family prayer and Dad’s blessing on Gerald to be offered in conjunction with the temple session.
We all realized the situation was very serious and we had much to petition the Lord for.
Under Gerald’s direction, we held a short devotional before departing for the temple. Gerald requested that Pam read D&C 42:48
“And again, it shall come to pass that he that hath faith to be healed, and is not appointed unto death, shall be healed.”
This scripture had become a source of real comfort and faith to Gerald in the last weeks of his life, holding promise that the Lord hears and can heal. Asking if there were any others who would like to read and offer scriptures, Pam began and Luana finished reading D&C 121:7-8:
“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it will, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”
April read Moroni 7:34-37
“And he hath said: Repent all ye ends of the earth, and come unto me, and be baptized in my name, and have faith in me, that ye may be saved. And now, my beloved brethren, if this be the case that these tings are true which I have spoken unto you, and God will show unto you, with power and great glory at the last day, that they are true, and if they are true has the day of miracles ceased? Or have angels ceased to appear unto the children of men? Or has he withheld the power of the Holy Ghost from them? Or will he, so long as time shall last, or the earth shall stand, or there shall be one man upon the face thereof to be saved? Behold I say unto you, Nay; for it is by faith that miracles are wrought; and it is by faith that angels appear and minister unto men; wherefore, if these things have ceased wo be unto the children of men, for it is because of unbelief, and all is vain.”
Karen quoted, from memory: Deuteronomy 31: 6
“Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”
Gerald read D&C 6:34-37
“Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail. Behold, I do not condemn you; go your ways and sin no more; perform with soberness the work which I have commanded you. Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not. Behold the wounds which pierced my side, and also the prints of the nails in my hands and feet; be faithful, keep my commandments, and ye shall inherit the kingdom of heaven. Amen.
Gerald then reminded us of why we had all come; that we were asking the Lord for a miracle, and that he was asking to know the will of the Lord—whether he was to be healed or taken.
During the Chapel meeting Gerald had requested to speak to the assembled group. He thanked all for coming and explained why we were assembled—to ask a blessing of the Lord. He had prayed for a crisis to come so he would know the will of the Lord, that he was willing to accept the will of the Lord; that he felt he would be told one of three things—Yes he would live, no he would not, or that the time had not yet come for him to be given the answer. He explained that he felt no bitterness before the Lord for the trials that had befallen him, that he felt a closeness to the Lord and felt Jesus Christ was his special friend and that he dedicated his soul to the Lord. It was a beautiful experience for us—a sweet, peaceful, spirit-nurturing time, when we felt love for each other, and for Gerald, and for God. It was a time of expectation, knowing that the blessing we all came to hear pronounced would soon be given. It was a time of deep, soulful pleading with God to bless Gerald; to heal him if that was best—directing our fullest efforts toward those pleas, stretching ourselves to extend our faith to the fullest in Gerald’s behalf.
The peaceful, loving, joyous feeling of expectation went with us into the session. Gerald grew visably stronger as the session progressed—he moved from the wheelchair to a regular seat and required no oxygen throughout the session; he breathed easier and was able to stand and sit without assistance. What a thrill it was to stand at that beautiful place—the prayer circle, all together as a complete family! ?Gerald later commented that as he stood and looked behind him in the temple session, every person he saw was someone he loved; and that the Celestial room was like the Celestial Kingdom would be. He was seeing more than we were—he felt the veil was so thin for him and he was receiving his strength from the Sprit as it carried him through. ?
After the session all family members went into the Temple President’s office for a family prayer circle.
There was immense unity of purpose among those present and the desire for complete submsssion to the will of the Father. Gerald began the family prayer circle. In a voice physically frail, trembling, evident of weakness and pain and long-suffering, yet spiritually strong and powerful, he spoke very directly, fully confident that his words would be heard by a mindful Father. He read phrases from his Patriarchial blessing to the Lord, explaining that he felt some of these blessings remained yet to be fulfilled in mortality, and he reminded the Lord of the other blessings he had been given and promises made. He spoke of his concern for his wife and children, reminding the Lord of their young ages; he felt that he hadn’t taught them all he needed to, commenting that he and April had only 9 years together. He said he had felt no bitterness or anger at what had befallen him, but had tried to be an example of how a person should conduct himself under adversity. He asked the Lord to heal him, but stated his willingness to do the Lord’s will, whatever it be. He had known a crisis was coming—where his life would hang in the balance and the Lord’s will would be made known to him.
Concluding, Gerald asked April to pray, and in a voice frequently filled with tears, yet steady and confident, she stated that in the nine and a half years they’d had together as man and wife, they’d achieved a unity most couples took a lifetime to gain. She spoke of her intense desire to have Gerald remain, yet promised he could go with no bitterness on her part if it was the Lord’s will. She promised that if Gerald was taken, she would dedicate her life to raising their children as Gerald and as He would want.
Each member of the immediate family had the opportunity to offer a prayer to Heavenly Father in Gerald’s behalf.
It is noteworthy that each individual praying stated our willingness, as individuals and family, to abide by the will of the Lord; our desires to keep Gerald with us and have him healed were powerful, but more powerful was our desire to abide by the plan of a loving Eternal Father.
Gerald’s great desire from this blessing was to know one thing—would he live or die. Others of us had come to ask more; that he be healed, unless it was contrary to God’s will. We did not ask whether he be healed slowly or instantly, but just that he be healed.
Dad’s blessing spoken simply, referred to the unity of the group assembled. It told us that we had exercised sufficient faith for Gerald to be healed—that Dad personally did not believe Gerald was to be called home. We were told that the Lord’s will would be done, that Gerald would be healed according to HIS??(GOD’S?) true faith and desires, and Gerald was commended into the hands of the Lord. But we were not told that Gerald was to be healed—though we prayed intensely, desired that intensely throughout the blessing, we did not hear those words.
At the conclusion of the blessing the room was quiet as we struggled for an understanding of the blessing that had been given. What had really been promised? There had been a positive feeling to the blessing, but we remained ignorant of the final outcome of Gerald’s situation. Gerald himself seemed to be struggling with these thoughts and as we split into smaller groups and headed for the dressing rooms there was a feeling of uncertainty as we sifted through our feelings to try to understand, and questioned each other to clarify our own impressions. This clarification process continued for the remainder of the time we were together and up until Gerald’s death ten days later, when we finally understood the Lord’s will and could see the meaning of the blessing.
None of us really knew, as we said goodbye, that we would never see Gerald in mortality again.
On Sunday October 17th the scouts that he taught came to give Gerald the Sacrament. Before the scouts departed he asked if he could say a few words and we all eagerly agreed. He began by saying: “I don’t know how much your parents have told you, but I’m very ill and only a miracle will same me.” He said there were things he wanted to tell them that he wanted them to never forget. He bore his testimony to the truthfulness of the Godpel of Jesus Christ and stated that he gained that testimony on his mission. He said he had always wanted to go on a mission and that there were things he had done before his mission that had prepared him: going to church, reading the scriptures, having goodly parents, scouting experiences, going to Seminary. But his mission was what gave him his testimony. He challenged the boys to develop testimonies of their own, as the time would come when they could not stand on the borrowed testimonies of others. He challenged each of them to go on a mission. He admonished them to start now, to not become impatient, but to do all they should and all else would follow. The testimony he bore was beautiful—in a voice steady and sure inspite of its infirmities, he spoke with love, in words geared to boys of that age., with simplicity, with obvious great faith, with a strong desire to assist these boys—grasping every possible opportunity to teach them. It was a marvelous experience for us all—touching and poignant—one that will remain in memory.
That night Gerald reached a small milestone that was so very big. He was able to breathe on his back without difficulty. The start of the miracle. It was a happy time—we were all excited and optimistic; we laughed and joked and talked enthusiastically of larger goals for further down the road. A joyous peacefulness pervaded all—the Lord had told us yes; Gerald was going to get well and the nightmare of his illness would end. We told ourselves that, in small groups and large, and in many one on one situations.
When the time came, each of us said goodbye to Gerald—each offering love and encouragement to him. We all believed, we all hoped he was to be healed—we would see him in five weeks at the wedding and he would be better. There were challenges offered to Gerald—to be 10 pounds heavier, to be ready to play a racquetball game or go jogging. We didn’t know then that we would re-assemble in just a few days to attend Gerald’s funeral. Those farewells were touching as we bid good-bye to other family members.
How do you trace the final days before death? What words can convey the individual shock—unique, yet ultimately the same—when we were finally given the answer we had asked for, that Gerald was “appointed unto death:, that he had finished his mortal mission and was going Home.
On October 26, at 12:31 Arizona time, with April’s arms around him as he lay on the couch in his living room, Gerald slipped quietly out of mortality. He went peacefully, having been in a coma since the night before, when Dad had given him a blessing promising him rest. The Lord had answered his prayers that his trails be shortened, and we at long last knew the final outcome of Gerald’s illness.
Some things are better understood in retrospect. Perhaps death is one of those things.
How overwhelmingly blessed we felt that we had had that weekend with Gerald before his death!! How much we saw the hand of a loving Father who gave us that weekend as a blessing for the faith, prayers and fasting we had offered for so long in Gerald’s behalf, and as a cushion for what was to come. We had asked for one answer and gotten another, yet there was peace in that answer—we felt reassured that all was as it should be. Just as earthly parents sometimes tell their children no because their wisdom sees a further future, so an all-wise Heavenly Father must sometimes say no to our sincere pleadings, knowing of an eternal future more pressing than the wants of today.
We had been protected from the final outcome, and so, until the very end, we all thought the Lord was going to let us keep Gerald here with us. Even as he became weaker and slipped further downhill, unable to meet the goals he had set, unable to walk unaided, requiring more oxygen, we hadn’t known it was to be this way. What would we have done if the Lord had told us in the family prayer circle in the temple that Gerald would not live? Our despair would have been immense, our last hours with him painful, our farewells agonizing. Instead, a loving Father, who could not tell us yes, left us with peace and a positive feeling, which we then interpreted as the yes we wanted.
We are comforted in Gerald’s passing—the powerful feelings we knew there in the temple have left us no doubt that he was wanted at Home; that he was ready to go and prepared to meet his Father; that nothing else we could have done would have changed that final answer.
There are questions in our minds; some puzzlement over things promised in blessings that, to our mortal eyes, seem unfulfilled. But as we struggle for understanding, our thoughts ring true: Perhaps we see only the restrictive perimeters of mortality—we draw the lines too tightly between mortality and the Spirit World. Gerald still lives; he is progressing and developing his talents; his blessings can be brought to pass there. He is, perhaps very close to us still.
Rather then feeling sadness that we will never again stand in mortality as a complete family in the prayer circle of the temple, we choose, instead, to be grateful that we got to stand united once.
We’re grateful for Gerald’s example to us—his closeness to his Father, his acceptance of his lot, his uncomplaining spirit.
We bask in the legacy of love he left—the increased love in our families—strong families grown stronger because of Gerald.
We cherish the faith we developed; the increased trust in the Lord, and the hope that He is pleased that we are trying mightily to understand and accept.
Gerald and April--The Cancer Chapter of Life
February 1981—WRITTEN ONE MONTH BEFORE DIAGNOSIS
Dear Friends:
H A P P Y V A L E N T I N E’S D A Y ! ! !
You may have noticed that the Romney’s didn’t send out Christmas cards this year. Some of you might have said to yourselves, “Well, they just didn’t have their act together again.” On the other hand, maybe we just planned it that way and decided to be original and send Valentine cards instead! Who know: We’ll never admit to anything and we might have even started a new tradition!
We enjoyed hearing from you at Christmas time and hope all is well with you and your families. The past year has been an eventful one of our family—one filled with many growing and maturing experiences, outstanding memories, and one not soon forgotten.
Gerald is a manager in the Phoenix office of Price Waterhouse and for the first time in his career his busy season ahs been bearable. I don’t know if it is that he really is home more or that we are just getting used to his demanding schedule. He enjoys his wok immensely and even has time to be the Scoutmaster in our ward. Knowing it isn’t proper to aspire to positions, he has, nevertheless, been called to the job he has always wanted. He is quite the expert with out-door cooking. Just ask him about his dutch oven Pineapple upside-down cake or cooking eggs and bacon in a paper bag! His calling has been a neat experience for the entire family and Chip has been able to go on a few overnights with his Dad.
The most significant event in my life this year was the passing of my Father in May. It happened very suddenly but that in itself was a blessing to all the family. As a result, the children and I spent nearly the entire summer with my Mom in Globe on her ranch. Now I can mend fences and pitch hay with the best of them! I was also called to be Education Counselor in Relief Society. Somehow I still can’t get used to being in front of adults every week—I miss the children. The 2nd most significant event this year was that I turned 30. I will not, however, make any further comment on the subject.
The events of the year have had a tremendous effect on Chip. For those of you who know of his close relationship to his Grandpa you can well imagine his feelings and growth. I am very pleased with his sensitivity and tenderness and his understanding of life after death. His favorite things in life consist of: Matchbox cars, oatmeal cookies, rides in the jeep, math, Walt Disney, violin lessons, bicycle rides in the vacant lot, yellow ribbons, horses, Dolly Parton songs, overnights with the Scouts, and his “man” Sunday School teacher. (Not necessarily in that order!)
Quinn is fast growing into a little lady. She would rather have her finger nails painted than almost anything and is very conscious of her appearance—clothes, hair, etc. All this drives Gerald up a wall and I’m not ready for it either. Doesn’t this all begin at age 12? Her friends are very important to her and she loves to spend time with them. She is taking acrobat lessons again this year and can turn the fastest cartwheel in the West. Her weekly violin lessons also keep her occupied but also a bit frustrated for she can’t understand why they don’t make left-handed violins!
Have you heard of the 3rd child syndrome? You know, neglected, frustrated, lacking attention, etc. Well, Susannah definitely does not fit that mold. She is so energetic, full of the devil, and probably the smartest child we’ve had yet still not trained. She is in 7th heaven if she can wear her favorite outfit—“Wonda-woos, cowboy boots and Chips baseball cap!” She loves to sing, make pies in the sand pile, eat onions, go to her Sunday School class, ride horses, and to “cuddle with my Liddle Daddy!”
Our life is very full and complete. WE have been blessed with so much and for this we are very grateful. Among our most treasured blessings, however, are our wonderful friends and our family. WE send you our love on Valentine’s Day with a wish that each of you and your families may all be as happy and contented as we are.
WE love you all!
Gerald, April, Chip, Quinn and Susannah
PS Please come see us! WE love company!
March 30, 1981 FIRST CANCER LETTER
Dear Family:
This letter is a progress report after treatment number 1. Yesterday we went to Tucson for my first treatment and things didn’t go just as planned. When they put the needle into my hand to start the I.V. I went faint, my blood pressure dropped and they couldn’t give me the medicine. They tried twice on the left hand but to no avail. At that time I decided it was appropriate to take a 30 minute break so we went to the cafeteria for a bowl of soup and then a walk around the hospital grounds.
ARROW AND COMMENTS FROM APRIL:
Soup heck! Imagine this—here he is, 30 minutes before he is to become “violently” ill and I turned around from talking to my sister and looked at his tray—soup, large OJ, apple pie and onion rings!—He ate more than he has eaten at any one time in a month. Not too bad, I’d say!
(back to Gerald)
On the second try they had me talk to one of the nurses who is a former Hodgkin’s patient. After the pep talk I was determined to relax, and all went well. I didn’t pay attention to what they were doing—instead I concentrated on an imaginary trip to Little Cherry Creek—that is my favorite place. I didn’t even know when they gave me the nitrogen mustard which is the real villan. As a matter of fact, I told the doctor that nitrogen mustard sounds like chemical warfare from WWI. His reply was that with a few changes it was the same stuff. The potential side effects are swelling of the veins where it is administered (it is very hard on the veins) nausea, and vomiting. I was supposed to be violently ill for 6-8 hours (violently meaning throwing up every 10-15 minutes) And just ordinary sick for tow days. Well, I have again been very blessed. I was nauseous, but only mildly so, and I only threw up twice. It definitely was not very “violent”. Today was the second day and I am slightly nauseous, but I am able to function normally around the house. I feel like I’m slightly car sick.
NOTE FROM APRIL:
He told me he now knows what it feels like to have “morning sickness!”
Yesterday the method of dealing with the reaction I found most successful was laying on the bed being as inactive as possible. The more I moved around the more I felt the nausea mounting. But laying in bed made me very, very uptight. I kept wondering when IT would hit. Fortunately IT never did arrive. They said I could expect future reactions to be similar to the first—I hope so.
One of the effects of the treatment is that it distorts your judgment. During the second half of the infection I was almost overcome by a tremendous fear. It was fear of the medicine, the illness or anything in particular. It was just fear and it seemed almost overpowering. I wanted to stand up and RUN. I must have held it in ok as April said I never showed any signs of that reaction. The other reaction was that yesterday I didn’t want the medicine, didn’t care about getting well, didn’t want to do anything. I just didn’t want anything. My whole sphere of thought was negative. I couldn’t dredge up one positive thought and believe me I tried. Today everything is back to normal and I am anxious to get this whole thing behind me. If my treatment lasts 6 months I have only 11 more injections to go. However the second injection is supposed to be much milder than the first. So I should have a relatively easy time.
But keep praying for me!! I need the help. I can’t tell you all how much your prayers have meant. They are felt and have made a big difference. Please keep up the good work—we have 6 more months to go.
I love you all,
Gerald
(from April)
Thank you all again! As far as we know, things are going well. You all would have been so proud of Gerald. I am amazed at each day at not only the fact that he is physically adapting so well, but that he is continually keeping his and my and the children’s spirits up. His humor keeps us all going. He is convinced that he will “pay his dues” for the next 6-8 months and that is it—and our lives will return to normal. He is such an example to me and I am so grateful for his influence.
The Lord has answered all of our prayers and we know he will continue to do so. Again our hearts are so full of the love and gratitude to each of our friends and family for all you have done. Please explain to the children that Heavenly Father really has listened to them and through their prayers, He has helped Gerald. This has been such a learning experience for the children. Chip would fast everyday, I think if we would let him. He is so protective of Gerald and so concerned. WE love you with all our hearts.
GACQ and S
4/5/1981 CANCER UPDATE, FAMILY TRADITIONS, AND ADOPTION
Dear Family,
Since conference yesterday and in conjunction with the letters to let you all know of my progress, I have decided to start writing my letters in my journal and then copying from here to send to you. We’ll see how well it copies. It makes it much easier for me to not have to cut up my letters and staple them into my journal—much neater also.
First I’ll give you another medical update. It’s only been 6 days since my first treatment, but already
1) The lump on my neck that was still left after the biopsy is down to where I can’t feel it.
2) I’m sleeping normal hours—the fatigue and 12-14 hours of sleep are gone.
3) My cough is almost gone, I cough infrequently and that is usually either first thing in the morning to clear mucous or late at night.
4) My voice is much better. Last night at priesthood meeting I could sing again (not that I could ever really sing). Although I’m not very good at it I love to sing the hymns, and it was a very emotional thing to not be able to sing. I just mouthed the words—some of you have mentioned President Kimball during my illness and when it came to singing, I really felt something in common with him—except that he used to be really good.
5) My appetite is back. April, Mom and Dad are all excited about that. I’m indifferent—I liked loosing 10 pounds. I can fit into several pairs of pants I had grown out of. This is one thing I’m going to try to hang onto—or rather not hang onto.
In the last letter I described my first injection. It really wasn’t so bad once I took hold of the situation and I think I can stay in the driver’s seat instead of letting the drugs control me completely—at least that is my challenge. This week I started on my pills which are all minor by comparison for my record and your information they are:
1 per day-kidney pill to prevent kidney stones due to all the extra dead cells bring filtered out by the kidneys and liver. The extra cells are from the tumors “debulking.”
4 per day: Prednisone. This is one of the cancer drugs and it gives me an undesirable “high” nor a euphoric high, but rather a very uptight nervous feeling. To counter act the nervousness (which is very unusual for me) the Dr. gave me some tranquilizers. The first time it worked just find—eliminated the nervousness. The next two times it put me to sleep so I don’t take it anymore.
4 per day: Procarbizine. A cancer drug—I don’t know exactly what it does.
Compazine. I take as needed for nausea—basically the two days after injections.
AT work things are still progressing well. I am doing my best to be dependable. I am less concerned about the total time I’m off than I am about being there when I say I will be. I really couldn’t ask for better support from an employer. After I get past next week I really think I will be able to pull my won weight. For the last several weeks the time I’ve been in the office has been more for my benefit than Price Waterhouse’s.
Yesterday was April’s birthday and we continued a tradition started 2 years ago. I got Chip and Quinn up at 5:30 and baked April’s cake. The kids really did most of the work (except that I got to sweep up all the ingredients that didn’t make it into the bowl.) After the cake (German chocolate) was finished we went to the supermarket and got the children’s gifts for mom…Quinn got nylons, Chip picked some flowers and Susy got a tube of toothpaste. (That’s the result of 3 kids and 2 ideas). Then we fixed breakfast in the kitchen and served it to mom in bed. We really out did ourselves on the menu: Raisin bran and orange juice and I cut up some watermelon Dad brought by. At any rate, I’m sure she enjoyed it. At 10:00 we packed her off to conference. I listened at home, but we can get it on TV if we go to the stake center.
I also want to tell you about a fellow I baptized on my mission. I think he was 60-65 at the time and was a widower. He made his meager living selling toys at the park. At the time we taught him I wondered if he would be able to stay active because Sunday is THE day to go to the park and I imagine he made most of his money on Sunday. After I left Mexico I heard from his just once until last month. He is coming to Mesa to be sealed to his wife (he must have remarried). He will arrive April 10th and I am anxious to see him again, and of course this will be the first time April will have met him. I will try to go to the temple with them for a few sessions. I’m going to have to practice Spanish between now and then.
President Benson’s talk in Priesthood meeting was on the responsibilities of fathers and it really brought out many o f the thoughts that have been with me the past two weeks. After the meeting April and I say down and had a long talk. There are many more questions that are u unanswered than answered but our feelings are:
1) We aren’t sure how it will come about but we both feel our family is not complete.
2) As for the chances of the sperm bank: a normal count is 60-150 million and due to my illness my count before freezing was 32 million. A normal post freeze survival rate is 40-50%, but my survival rate was only 10% and the surviving 10% were not very vital. Multiplying that out, it leaves 3 million or 5% of the low range of normal. The doctor told me that doctors start defining sterility at 40 million and below 20 million the chances are next to none. Nonetheless, we have gone ahead with the feeling that we have preserved what we could and the rest will be up to the Lord. After all, it only takes 1 and that isn’t too much for him if he chooses.
3) Of all the doctors we have spoken to the possibilities for permanent sterility have been given as a low of 60% probability to a high of 90%. In addition, there is a possibility of genetic damage. We have not asked about those possibilities but we do know that the doctors are absolutely adamant that strict steps be taken to prevent a pregnancy during my active treatment. This is due to the virtual certainty that sperm cells are adversely affected by the treatment. We will follow their advice. At the end of six months we will see what the situation is.
4) April and I both feel that the answer may be adoption. We will not pursue this until we have many more answers, but if adoption is the answer we are very willing to accept that answer. Given the fact that we have three children of our own, and that I am a cancer patient, adoption will probably not be easy. I am almost certain that the adoption possibilities would be for minority children. April and I are in agreement that minority children would not be an obstacle and that we could love those children as much as any we had on our own.
All of this may be terribly premature—there are so many unanswered questions However, the feelings are very real and should be recorded.
Last Sunday prior to my first treatment I gave all of the children a Father’s blessing to help them cope with the problems and also to ask that they not be carries of infection during the time my resistance is low. It was a special time. Even more special was the husband’s blessing I gave to April. It was very touching and the most significant part was that she would have the confidence and patience to see this thing through. I could not ask for a more supporting wife. She has been absolutely super through this whole thing—very supportive, very loving and very concerned. I love her so very much.
Today was also the first Sunday of the month and that means interview Sunday. We have been doing this for about 3 months and the children really eat it up. Chip especially looks forward to it. During our interview we discussed his need for greater effort at school and that he needs to be cleaner. I think the last time his fingernails were clean was when he was born. After the interviews April and I discussed why the children like the interviews and decided that while we try conscientiously to spend time with our children , very little of that time is one on one time. To increase the one on one time we are also going to adopt the idea from Gary and Marie Stailey. They let one of the children stay up ½ hour longer than all the others at night. Each child has his or her turn during the week and the ½ hour is spent doing what the child wants to do. It sounds like a great idea—stay tuned for next week’s episode and we’ll let you know if it worked. I can tell already that Susy is going to have a hard time when every night isn’t her turn, but I guess that’s a big part of the plan—to teach taking turns.
Quinn’s interview was a gem. We talked about how you have to practice to be a mommy. And practicing means cleaning up, learning to do dishes, and maybe we can find some simple foods she can start to fix (toast maybe?).
Susy’s interview was short and to the point: We need to have dry pants and Daddy sure loves you—end of interview.
Since we are starting out on ambitious new goals we have decided to try another one. These great ideas by the way have not passed the true test of consistency, yet, but if we tell you about them we will be more likely to be committed. This new idea came from the Ensign and it is a family devotional. With as hectic as things get around here I can tell one big key to success will be brevity—a song, prayer, scripture and that’s it. Again—stay tuned next week for a progress report.
There is one item I can report on though that I’ve been successful at for several months. I have been plugging away at the Old Testament regularly since September. There have been only a few days I’ve missed it in the months in between. I must confess thought that eight years ago when the church study course was on the Old Testament I read 275 pages. This time I didn’t start over especially since those 275 pages included Numbers, Deuteronomy etc. After finishing 2nd chronicles I am reading the books of the Prophets as they are discussed in Brother Skousens book “The Fourth Thousand Years” instead of the sequence they are presented in the Bible. With his explanations, I am enjoying the reading and learning. Without his book, or some other commentary I’m afraid I would be lost and my reading would continue only at the price of sheer will power. But now it is interesting (most of the time anyway) I am now in Isaiah and am surprising myself with how much I understand—but I’m sure a long way from understanding a fraction of what he says. I am reading and trying which is different when I read Nephi’s quotations of Isaiah in the Book of Mormon—that was when I figured it was a good chance to practice speed reading. I also confess I practice a little speed reading on the “he begat” sections now.
Well, I started this this at 2AM and it is now 11 PM. In between has been conference (sessions were fabulous as usual) interviews, a viewing, visitors from Globe, a dozen phone calls, 2 meals, a mopped floor and more dishes than I care to count. It’s been a good day and I feel great. My therapy is working out great and I am confident, happy, but working hard to be better. Kevin, I’ve even made a special missionary commitment which I will dedicate to you, but you’ll have to wait for next week to hear about it.
Please keep praying for me—I need it. Pam, Bob, Glenn, and Family, we are praying for you constantly and I will fast as soon as I’m off medication. We love you all.
Gerald.
4/7/81
Just a quick update on my second treatment. Monday April and I went to Tucson along with the former R.S. President (Irene Gardanier). We had a lot of fun going down and they enjoyed the trip back while I slept. The drugs given this time are the ones that cause hair loss so they gave me an ice cap that is supposed to reduce hair loss. The thing was sure cold. Getting the injections was a snap—no apprehension at all. I thought I was going to get off scot-free this time. Well, id didn’t work that way. In the afternoon I felt sick all over, but not particularly nauseous. Today I have been mildly nauseous, but not really bad—bad enough to not feel good, but not bad enough to really do much complaining. Tomorrow everything will be back to par—like it or not, I am determined to not be sick tomorrow.
Dear family, (letter by April) Memorial Day 1982
--On the outside of the letter written: “Come see us!!! Anyone got any neat ideas for summer projects to include kids? Criteria: they must be done on hot 120 degree summer afternoons—INSIDE!!
Well, I have decided to get this letter off to you today—who knows? I may even succeed. It was fun to get up this morning and not have to get into the swing of things immediately. I just love those Monday holidays! They are not like Saturdays because I don’t get the guilts about having to get up and get the family up and hopping for the Sabbath. I have a very dear friend here named Virgie Arrington. Her husband is the brother of Leonard Arrington, the Church historian. She is just delightful and this morning she called me at 5:45 and we went walking. We walked for nearly 2 hours straight! We started talking and just didn’t stop. I have been walking for 2-3 miles a day since February, I guess. This has seemed to help the Arthritis from the Lupus. My rash that was all over my body is now gone and my skin now looks healthy and normal once again. I was wondering if I would ever see the day when I didn’t itch all over! Now the arthritis has come but I have found that if I walk everyday and exercise my upper torso (shoulders, upper arms, elbows and hands) I do much better. I have not had to go on my cortisone and I simply take aspirin for the swelling of the joints. I have found, however, that I must force myself to slow down and I have to get adequate rest every day. Somehow, that is the most difficult thing of all to do. It is very frustrating to make myself lie down every afternoon because there is so much that needs to be done. Things are running smoothly, thought, and a new routine has been good for us.
So—since I am up and about early I thought that before we did anything else this morning, I would get this letter off to all of you. I want to give you a little update about eh events of Friday and let you now how Gerald is doing. As a little background—in the past, a cough has been an indication of the cancer either present or spreading. When we found out the cancer has left the host tissue, the lymph nodes, and had entered the lungs, we were very upset and frightened, as you can imagine. Gerald is one of a very few how has not responded to the forms of treatment that have been administered before. We are talking in the neighborhood of 2 to 3% of all the patients our doctor has treated over the years for Hodgkin’s disease. That is not good. There are a few alternative drug combinations that have been successful and the doctor decided on one particular kind. (Adriamycin, vindicine, BCNU, and Prednisone). The treatment schedule is once every 3 weeks for 6-8 months and then on a maintenance program for 18 months to 2 years. After the first treatment, we went down to Tucson for the 2nd one and there had been no change with the cancer. Not better—no worse. The doctor was disappointed but he encouraged us that at least it had not grown. He upped the dosage and we were hoping and pray8ing that we would see some change this time. However, about a week after the treatment, Gerald developed this horrible cough. You can imagine our fright and concern because it just did not seem to get any better. He is not in the best of health—he has lost 40 lbs. since this all began—weighing now 147. We went back on Friday, very anxious that the cancer was spreading and nervous about the treatment. To our joy, however, we found that the cough was not related to the growth of the cancer but because of allergies or something else. The nodes in his lungs are smaller and some have gone. The doctor said that he wishes they were all gone but al least now we are convinced that the treatment is working. He gave Gerald the same dosage as last time and we are on our way. I read a copy of the letter that Pamela wrote to all of you this last time and I am so thankful to each of your for your fasting and prayers administered in our behalf. It means so much to us and I do want you to know that they were very effective. The treatment was still very painful for Gerald but all (or much) of the anxiety was gone making the experience much easier to bear. I want you to know that your brother is a very courageous and brave individual. He always maintains an uplifting spirit; he is very positive and very seldom is depressed about the situation. He has developed a very very close and intimate relationship with the Father. To know of the time he spends on his knees in prayer and supplication to the Lord is a real inspiration to me in my life, and has taught me so much more about the power and the peace that can come to our lives through prayer. Gerald has had a very difficult time with the chemotherapy this last series.
Fortunately, the nausea has been better than in the treatments before. The actual getting the treatment, however, is the difficult thing. He always kids the nurses that they have to be good because somehow they always manage to hit a moving target! His psychological attitude is the thing that we need to work on to prepare him for what is to come each time he goes down to Tucson. With all of our hearts, we thank you dear people for helping us through this experience. I just can’t begin to express the difference between the two situations (first time around versus second time after it didn’t work?) and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We love you all dearly and pray for your happiness.
We are busy with the children as the school year comes to an end. We have had dance recitals, violin recitals soccer championships and the list goes on and on and on! I’ll tell you about a few of them since I have already started this page. (I want you to know I am supposed to be outside raking the gravel!) I think most of you know that Quinn has been taking gymnastics for the past few years. She takes from this academy and is with this group of little girls from 5-8 who are all pretty good for being so little. The woman who owns this school is not LDS, by the way. Well, this spring, they had the Dance Festival here in the Phoenix Valley and the lady who was in charge of the entire production, contacted the owner of Quinn’s dance school and wanted to know if she had any numbers (2) that they could use as floor show dances between the big dances on the field. Well, to make a long story short, Quinn’s class was one of the 2. The LDS lady didn’t want little kids, but as soon as she saw what they could do, she was delighted with them. Anyway, Quinn and her little class of 12 was in the Dance Festival at the ASU Football stadium and flipped, cart-wheeled and bounced in a little clown dance in front of a crowd of 40,000 people! Talk about tickled! I guess it made Gerald and I so nervous but she wasn’t the least bit concerned—she just thought it was fun. That is the most important thing, though. We are so pleased with the children’s violin lessons. They are taking the Suzuki method. Chip is in with a group of 3 little boys and Quinn with 3 little girls. They are mostly from the neighborhood and are LDS and they are coming right along. It is very difficult because I have to sit right down with them constantly as they practice. Unfortunately it is not a thing where I can say, “Go do your practicing!” Since they are now just beginning to read the music, they have learned for the past year just by memory and ear. Chip can just play about any hymn by ear now but his favorite is “Scooby Doo.’ The theory behind the method is to teach them by memory and ear first so that they can get a feel for the instrument and an ear for the music and then introduce reading the music. We are really pleased with it and I think that we will start Susannah at the beginning of the year. I have already purchased her violin (it is 1/8 the size of a normal violin) and she is always wanting to get it out and play. Let me know if any of you will be here on June 28th. If so, I am sure that Chip will assign you a part on his baptism. This is a very exciting time in our family as he will be baptized then. I just love our stake here because they have the policy that each person baptized gets his own baptism—not handled on a stake basis. We have wanted it to be a very memorable experience for Chip and he can hardly wait. I will conduct. My mom and Mums will say the opening and closing prayers. Quinn will lead the singing and Susannah will say a scripture. My sis and I will sing a song. His violin teacher (who is not LDS) will play (Oh How Lovely Was the Morning) and his Primary teacher will give the talk. He just found out last night that Uncle Devin will be here too, and he said, “Do you think “Uncle Kevin could run the projector?” Gerald and I took him down to the Scout store about 4 weeks ago and bought him his uniform. He hung it up in his Daddy’s closet and goes in there and just looks at it. Last Saturday I sent G and Chip down to a photo studio and had both their pics taken together in their uniforms. Susannah is just a pistol. She forever bounces in and lights up our lives. She is such a strong and independent spirit, but simply worships the ground Quinn walks on. I hope she keeps it up. She informed me the other day, however, that she wishes she was in Virgie’s family. When asking her why, she said, “Because they have a trampoline, a bunny, and a swimming pool.” When she was the look of horror on my face, she added, “But don’t worry, Mom, Virgie will be my mom but you can be my Grandma!” I think that we are going to have a lot on our hands as I look down the road with that child. WE LOVE YOUALL WITH ALL OUR HEARTS. THANKS FOR THE MANY MANY KINDNESSES YOU SHOW—PHONE CALLS, BABYSITTING, BACK RUBS, SURPRISE BOXES AND MOSTLY PRAYERS! GQCQ and S.
Written on the side: The kids and I plan to be in Provo Aug 5-12. Gerald is going to a Scout Jamboree.
Gerald’s next 2 treatments are June 18 and July 9th. We (family) plan to be in LA July 12-16—Gerald teaching in Pamona. See you PSJ&B
Dear Friends:
H A P P Y V A L E N T I N E’S D A Y ! ! !
You may have noticed that the Romney’s didn’t send out Christmas cards this year. Some of you might have said to yourselves, “Well, they just didn’t have their act together again.” On the other hand, maybe we just planned it that way and decided to be original and send Valentine cards instead! Who know: We’ll never admit to anything and we might have even started a new tradition!
We enjoyed hearing from you at Christmas time and hope all is well with you and your families. The past year has been an eventful one of our family—one filled with many growing and maturing experiences, outstanding memories, and one not soon forgotten.
Gerald is a manager in the Phoenix office of Price Waterhouse and for the first time in his career his busy season ahs been bearable. I don’t know if it is that he really is home more or that we are just getting used to his demanding schedule. He enjoys his wok immensely and even has time to be the Scoutmaster in our ward. Knowing it isn’t proper to aspire to positions, he has, nevertheless, been called to the job he has always wanted. He is quite the expert with out-door cooking. Just ask him about his dutch oven Pineapple upside-down cake or cooking eggs and bacon in a paper bag! His calling has been a neat experience for the entire family and Chip has been able to go on a few overnights with his Dad.
The most significant event in my life this year was the passing of my Father in May. It happened very suddenly but that in itself was a blessing to all the family. As a result, the children and I spent nearly the entire summer with my Mom in Globe on her ranch. Now I can mend fences and pitch hay with the best of them! I was also called to be Education Counselor in Relief Society. Somehow I still can’t get used to being in front of adults every week—I miss the children. The 2nd most significant event this year was that I turned 30. I will not, however, make any further comment on the subject.
The events of the year have had a tremendous effect on Chip. For those of you who know of his close relationship to his Grandpa you can well imagine his feelings and growth. I am very pleased with his sensitivity and tenderness and his understanding of life after death. His favorite things in life consist of: Matchbox cars, oatmeal cookies, rides in the jeep, math, Walt Disney, violin lessons, bicycle rides in the vacant lot, yellow ribbons, horses, Dolly Parton songs, overnights with the Scouts, and his “man” Sunday School teacher. (Not necessarily in that order!)
Quinn is fast growing into a little lady. She would rather have her finger nails painted than almost anything and is very conscious of her appearance—clothes, hair, etc. All this drives Gerald up a wall and I’m not ready for it either. Doesn’t this all begin at age 12? Her friends are very important to her and she loves to spend time with them. She is taking acrobat lessons again this year and can turn the fastest cartwheel in the West. Her weekly violin lessons also keep her occupied but also a bit frustrated for she can’t understand why they don’t make left-handed violins!
Have you heard of the 3rd child syndrome? You know, neglected, frustrated, lacking attention, etc. Well, Susannah definitely does not fit that mold. She is so energetic, full of the devil, and probably the smartest child we’ve had yet still not trained. She is in 7th heaven if she can wear her favorite outfit—“Wonda-woos, cowboy boots and Chips baseball cap!” She loves to sing, make pies in the sand pile, eat onions, go to her Sunday School class, ride horses, and to “cuddle with my Liddle Daddy!”
Our life is very full and complete. WE have been blessed with so much and for this we are very grateful. Among our most treasured blessings, however, are our wonderful friends and our family. WE send you our love on Valentine’s Day with a wish that each of you and your families may all be as happy and contented as we are.
WE love you all!
Gerald, April, Chip, Quinn and Susannah
PS Please come see us! WE love company!
March 30, 1981 FIRST CANCER LETTER
Dear Family:
This letter is a progress report after treatment number 1. Yesterday we went to Tucson for my first treatment and things didn’t go just as planned. When they put the needle into my hand to start the I.V. I went faint, my blood pressure dropped and they couldn’t give me the medicine. They tried twice on the left hand but to no avail. At that time I decided it was appropriate to take a 30 minute break so we went to the cafeteria for a bowl of soup and then a walk around the hospital grounds.
ARROW AND COMMENTS FROM APRIL:
Soup heck! Imagine this—here he is, 30 minutes before he is to become “violently” ill and I turned around from talking to my sister and looked at his tray—soup, large OJ, apple pie and onion rings!—He ate more than he has eaten at any one time in a month. Not too bad, I’d say!
(back to Gerald)
On the second try they had me talk to one of the nurses who is a former Hodgkin’s patient. After the pep talk I was determined to relax, and all went well. I didn’t pay attention to what they were doing—instead I concentrated on an imaginary trip to Little Cherry Creek—that is my favorite place. I didn’t even know when they gave me the nitrogen mustard which is the real villan. As a matter of fact, I told the doctor that nitrogen mustard sounds like chemical warfare from WWI. His reply was that with a few changes it was the same stuff. The potential side effects are swelling of the veins where it is administered (it is very hard on the veins) nausea, and vomiting. I was supposed to be violently ill for 6-8 hours (violently meaning throwing up every 10-15 minutes) And just ordinary sick for tow days. Well, I have again been very blessed. I was nauseous, but only mildly so, and I only threw up twice. It definitely was not very “violent”. Today was the second day and I am slightly nauseous, but I am able to function normally around the house. I feel like I’m slightly car sick.
NOTE FROM APRIL:
He told me he now knows what it feels like to have “morning sickness!”
Yesterday the method of dealing with the reaction I found most successful was laying on the bed being as inactive as possible. The more I moved around the more I felt the nausea mounting. But laying in bed made me very, very uptight. I kept wondering when IT would hit. Fortunately IT never did arrive. They said I could expect future reactions to be similar to the first—I hope so.
One of the effects of the treatment is that it distorts your judgment. During the second half of the infection I was almost overcome by a tremendous fear. It was fear of the medicine, the illness or anything in particular. It was just fear and it seemed almost overpowering. I wanted to stand up and RUN. I must have held it in ok as April said I never showed any signs of that reaction. The other reaction was that yesterday I didn’t want the medicine, didn’t care about getting well, didn’t want to do anything. I just didn’t want anything. My whole sphere of thought was negative. I couldn’t dredge up one positive thought and believe me I tried. Today everything is back to normal and I am anxious to get this whole thing behind me. If my treatment lasts 6 months I have only 11 more injections to go. However the second injection is supposed to be much milder than the first. So I should have a relatively easy time.
But keep praying for me!! I need the help. I can’t tell you all how much your prayers have meant. They are felt and have made a big difference. Please keep up the good work—we have 6 more months to go.
I love you all,
Gerald
(from April)
Thank you all again! As far as we know, things are going well. You all would have been so proud of Gerald. I am amazed at each day at not only the fact that he is physically adapting so well, but that he is continually keeping his and my and the children’s spirits up. His humor keeps us all going. He is convinced that he will “pay his dues” for the next 6-8 months and that is it—and our lives will return to normal. He is such an example to me and I am so grateful for his influence.
The Lord has answered all of our prayers and we know he will continue to do so. Again our hearts are so full of the love and gratitude to each of our friends and family for all you have done. Please explain to the children that Heavenly Father really has listened to them and through their prayers, He has helped Gerald. This has been such a learning experience for the children. Chip would fast everyday, I think if we would let him. He is so protective of Gerald and so concerned. WE love you with all our hearts.
GACQ and S
4/5/1981 CANCER UPDATE, FAMILY TRADITIONS, AND ADOPTION
Dear Family,
Since conference yesterday and in conjunction with the letters to let you all know of my progress, I have decided to start writing my letters in my journal and then copying from here to send to you. We’ll see how well it copies. It makes it much easier for me to not have to cut up my letters and staple them into my journal—much neater also.
First I’ll give you another medical update. It’s only been 6 days since my first treatment, but already
1) The lump on my neck that was still left after the biopsy is down to where I can’t feel it.
2) I’m sleeping normal hours—the fatigue and 12-14 hours of sleep are gone.
3) My cough is almost gone, I cough infrequently and that is usually either first thing in the morning to clear mucous or late at night.
4) My voice is much better. Last night at priesthood meeting I could sing again (not that I could ever really sing). Although I’m not very good at it I love to sing the hymns, and it was a very emotional thing to not be able to sing. I just mouthed the words—some of you have mentioned President Kimball during my illness and when it came to singing, I really felt something in common with him—except that he used to be really good.
5) My appetite is back. April, Mom and Dad are all excited about that. I’m indifferent—I liked loosing 10 pounds. I can fit into several pairs of pants I had grown out of. This is one thing I’m going to try to hang onto—or rather not hang onto.
In the last letter I described my first injection. It really wasn’t so bad once I took hold of the situation and I think I can stay in the driver’s seat instead of letting the drugs control me completely—at least that is my challenge. This week I started on my pills which are all minor by comparison for my record and your information they are:
1 per day-kidney pill to prevent kidney stones due to all the extra dead cells bring filtered out by the kidneys and liver. The extra cells are from the tumors “debulking.”
4 per day: Prednisone. This is one of the cancer drugs and it gives me an undesirable “high” nor a euphoric high, but rather a very uptight nervous feeling. To counter act the nervousness (which is very unusual for me) the Dr. gave me some tranquilizers. The first time it worked just find—eliminated the nervousness. The next two times it put me to sleep so I don’t take it anymore.
4 per day: Procarbizine. A cancer drug—I don’t know exactly what it does.
Compazine. I take as needed for nausea—basically the two days after injections.
AT work things are still progressing well. I am doing my best to be dependable. I am less concerned about the total time I’m off than I am about being there when I say I will be. I really couldn’t ask for better support from an employer. After I get past next week I really think I will be able to pull my won weight. For the last several weeks the time I’ve been in the office has been more for my benefit than Price Waterhouse’s.
Yesterday was April’s birthday and we continued a tradition started 2 years ago. I got Chip and Quinn up at 5:30 and baked April’s cake. The kids really did most of the work (except that I got to sweep up all the ingredients that didn’t make it into the bowl.) After the cake (German chocolate) was finished we went to the supermarket and got the children’s gifts for mom…Quinn got nylons, Chip picked some flowers and Susy got a tube of toothpaste. (That’s the result of 3 kids and 2 ideas). Then we fixed breakfast in the kitchen and served it to mom in bed. We really out did ourselves on the menu: Raisin bran and orange juice and I cut up some watermelon Dad brought by. At any rate, I’m sure she enjoyed it. At 10:00 we packed her off to conference. I listened at home, but we can get it on TV if we go to the stake center.
I also want to tell you about a fellow I baptized on my mission. I think he was 60-65 at the time and was a widower. He made his meager living selling toys at the park. At the time we taught him I wondered if he would be able to stay active because Sunday is THE day to go to the park and I imagine he made most of his money on Sunday. After I left Mexico I heard from his just once until last month. He is coming to Mesa to be sealed to his wife (he must have remarried). He will arrive April 10th and I am anxious to see him again, and of course this will be the first time April will have met him. I will try to go to the temple with them for a few sessions. I’m going to have to practice Spanish between now and then.
President Benson’s talk in Priesthood meeting was on the responsibilities of fathers and it really brought out many o f the thoughts that have been with me the past two weeks. After the meeting April and I say down and had a long talk. There are many more questions that are u unanswered than answered but our feelings are:
1) We aren’t sure how it will come about but we both feel our family is not complete.
2) As for the chances of the sperm bank: a normal count is 60-150 million and due to my illness my count before freezing was 32 million. A normal post freeze survival rate is 40-50%, but my survival rate was only 10% and the surviving 10% were not very vital. Multiplying that out, it leaves 3 million or 5% of the low range of normal. The doctor told me that doctors start defining sterility at 40 million and below 20 million the chances are next to none. Nonetheless, we have gone ahead with the feeling that we have preserved what we could and the rest will be up to the Lord. After all, it only takes 1 and that isn’t too much for him if he chooses.
3) Of all the doctors we have spoken to the possibilities for permanent sterility have been given as a low of 60% probability to a high of 90%. In addition, there is a possibility of genetic damage. We have not asked about those possibilities but we do know that the doctors are absolutely adamant that strict steps be taken to prevent a pregnancy during my active treatment. This is due to the virtual certainty that sperm cells are adversely affected by the treatment. We will follow their advice. At the end of six months we will see what the situation is.
4) April and I both feel that the answer may be adoption. We will not pursue this until we have many more answers, but if adoption is the answer we are very willing to accept that answer. Given the fact that we have three children of our own, and that I am a cancer patient, adoption will probably not be easy. I am almost certain that the adoption possibilities would be for minority children. April and I are in agreement that minority children would not be an obstacle and that we could love those children as much as any we had on our own.
All of this may be terribly premature—there are so many unanswered questions However, the feelings are very real and should be recorded.
Last Sunday prior to my first treatment I gave all of the children a Father’s blessing to help them cope with the problems and also to ask that they not be carries of infection during the time my resistance is low. It was a special time. Even more special was the husband’s blessing I gave to April. It was very touching and the most significant part was that she would have the confidence and patience to see this thing through. I could not ask for a more supporting wife. She has been absolutely super through this whole thing—very supportive, very loving and very concerned. I love her so very much.
Today was also the first Sunday of the month and that means interview Sunday. We have been doing this for about 3 months and the children really eat it up. Chip especially looks forward to it. During our interview we discussed his need for greater effort at school and that he needs to be cleaner. I think the last time his fingernails were clean was when he was born. After the interviews April and I discussed why the children like the interviews and decided that while we try conscientiously to spend time with our children , very little of that time is one on one time. To increase the one on one time we are also going to adopt the idea from Gary and Marie Stailey. They let one of the children stay up ½ hour longer than all the others at night. Each child has his or her turn during the week and the ½ hour is spent doing what the child wants to do. It sounds like a great idea—stay tuned for next week’s episode and we’ll let you know if it worked. I can tell already that Susy is going to have a hard time when every night isn’t her turn, but I guess that’s a big part of the plan—to teach taking turns.
Quinn’s interview was a gem. We talked about how you have to practice to be a mommy. And practicing means cleaning up, learning to do dishes, and maybe we can find some simple foods she can start to fix (toast maybe?).
Susy’s interview was short and to the point: We need to have dry pants and Daddy sure loves you—end of interview.
Since we are starting out on ambitious new goals we have decided to try another one. These great ideas by the way have not passed the true test of consistency, yet, but if we tell you about them we will be more likely to be committed. This new idea came from the Ensign and it is a family devotional. With as hectic as things get around here I can tell one big key to success will be brevity—a song, prayer, scripture and that’s it. Again—stay tuned next week for a progress report.
There is one item I can report on though that I’ve been successful at for several months. I have been plugging away at the Old Testament regularly since September. There have been only a few days I’ve missed it in the months in between. I must confess thought that eight years ago when the church study course was on the Old Testament I read 275 pages. This time I didn’t start over especially since those 275 pages included Numbers, Deuteronomy etc. After finishing 2nd chronicles I am reading the books of the Prophets as they are discussed in Brother Skousens book “The Fourth Thousand Years” instead of the sequence they are presented in the Bible. With his explanations, I am enjoying the reading and learning. Without his book, or some other commentary I’m afraid I would be lost and my reading would continue only at the price of sheer will power. But now it is interesting (most of the time anyway) I am now in Isaiah and am surprising myself with how much I understand—but I’m sure a long way from understanding a fraction of what he says. I am reading and trying which is different when I read Nephi’s quotations of Isaiah in the Book of Mormon—that was when I figured it was a good chance to practice speed reading. I also confess I practice a little speed reading on the “he begat” sections now.
Well, I started this this at 2AM and it is now 11 PM. In between has been conference (sessions were fabulous as usual) interviews, a viewing, visitors from Globe, a dozen phone calls, 2 meals, a mopped floor and more dishes than I care to count. It’s been a good day and I feel great. My therapy is working out great and I am confident, happy, but working hard to be better. Kevin, I’ve even made a special missionary commitment which I will dedicate to you, but you’ll have to wait for next week to hear about it.
Please keep praying for me—I need it. Pam, Bob, Glenn, and Family, we are praying for you constantly and I will fast as soon as I’m off medication. We love you all.
Gerald.
4/7/81
Just a quick update on my second treatment. Monday April and I went to Tucson along with the former R.S. President (Irene Gardanier). We had a lot of fun going down and they enjoyed the trip back while I slept. The drugs given this time are the ones that cause hair loss so they gave me an ice cap that is supposed to reduce hair loss. The thing was sure cold. Getting the injections was a snap—no apprehension at all. I thought I was going to get off scot-free this time. Well, id didn’t work that way. In the afternoon I felt sick all over, but not particularly nauseous. Today I have been mildly nauseous, but not really bad—bad enough to not feel good, but not bad enough to really do much complaining. Tomorrow everything will be back to par—like it or not, I am determined to not be sick tomorrow.
Dear family, (letter by April) Memorial Day 1982
--On the outside of the letter written: “Come see us!!! Anyone got any neat ideas for summer projects to include kids? Criteria: they must be done on hot 120 degree summer afternoons—INSIDE!!
Well, I have decided to get this letter off to you today—who knows? I may even succeed. It was fun to get up this morning and not have to get into the swing of things immediately. I just love those Monday holidays! They are not like Saturdays because I don’t get the guilts about having to get up and get the family up and hopping for the Sabbath. I have a very dear friend here named Virgie Arrington. Her husband is the brother of Leonard Arrington, the Church historian. She is just delightful and this morning she called me at 5:45 and we went walking. We walked for nearly 2 hours straight! We started talking and just didn’t stop. I have been walking for 2-3 miles a day since February, I guess. This has seemed to help the Arthritis from the Lupus. My rash that was all over my body is now gone and my skin now looks healthy and normal once again. I was wondering if I would ever see the day when I didn’t itch all over! Now the arthritis has come but I have found that if I walk everyday and exercise my upper torso (shoulders, upper arms, elbows and hands) I do much better. I have not had to go on my cortisone and I simply take aspirin for the swelling of the joints. I have found, however, that I must force myself to slow down and I have to get adequate rest every day. Somehow, that is the most difficult thing of all to do. It is very frustrating to make myself lie down every afternoon because there is so much that needs to be done. Things are running smoothly, thought, and a new routine has been good for us.
So—since I am up and about early I thought that before we did anything else this morning, I would get this letter off to all of you. I want to give you a little update about eh events of Friday and let you now how Gerald is doing. As a little background—in the past, a cough has been an indication of the cancer either present or spreading. When we found out the cancer has left the host tissue, the lymph nodes, and had entered the lungs, we were very upset and frightened, as you can imagine. Gerald is one of a very few how has not responded to the forms of treatment that have been administered before. We are talking in the neighborhood of 2 to 3% of all the patients our doctor has treated over the years for Hodgkin’s disease. That is not good. There are a few alternative drug combinations that have been successful and the doctor decided on one particular kind. (Adriamycin, vindicine, BCNU, and Prednisone). The treatment schedule is once every 3 weeks for 6-8 months and then on a maintenance program for 18 months to 2 years. After the first treatment, we went down to Tucson for the 2nd one and there had been no change with the cancer. Not better—no worse. The doctor was disappointed but he encouraged us that at least it had not grown. He upped the dosage and we were hoping and pray8ing that we would see some change this time. However, about a week after the treatment, Gerald developed this horrible cough. You can imagine our fright and concern because it just did not seem to get any better. He is not in the best of health—he has lost 40 lbs. since this all began—weighing now 147. We went back on Friday, very anxious that the cancer was spreading and nervous about the treatment. To our joy, however, we found that the cough was not related to the growth of the cancer but because of allergies or something else. The nodes in his lungs are smaller and some have gone. The doctor said that he wishes they were all gone but al least now we are convinced that the treatment is working. He gave Gerald the same dosage as last time and we are on our way. I read a copy of the letter that Pamela wrote to all of you this last time and I am so thankful to each of your for your fasting and prayers administered in our behalf. It means so much to us and I do want you to know that they were very effective. The treatment was still very painful for Gerald but all (or much) of the anxiety was gone making the experience much easier to bear. I want you to know that your brother is a very courageous and brave individual. He always maintains an uplifting spirit; he is very positive and very seldom is depressed about the situation. He has developed a very very close and intimate relationship with the Father. To know of the time he spends on his knees in prayer and supplication to the Lord is a real inspiration to me in my life, and has taught me so much more about the power and the peace that can come to our lives through prayer. Gerald has had a very difficult time with the chemotherapy this last series.
Fortunately, the nausea has been better than in the treatments before. The actual getting the treatment, however, is the difficult thing. He always kids the nurses that they have to be good because somehow they always manage to hit a moving target! His psychological attitude is the thing that we need to work on to prepare him for what is to come each time he goes down to Tucson. With all of our hearts, we thank you dear people for helping us through this experience. I just can’t begin to express the difference between the two situations (first time around versus second time after it didn’t work?) and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We love you all dearly and pray for your happiness.
We are busy with the children as the school year comes to an end. We have had dance recitals, violin recitals soccer championships and the list goes on and on and on! I’ll tell you about a few of them since I have already started this page. (I want you to know I am supposed to be outside raking the gravel!) I think most of you know that Quinn has been taking gymnastics for the past few years. She takes from this academy and is with this group of little girls from 5-8 who are all pretty good for being so little. The woman who owns this school is not LDS, by the way. Well, this spring, they had the Dance Festival here in the Phoenix Valley and the lady who was in charge of the entire production, contacted the owner of Quinn’s dance school and wanted to know if she had any numbers (2) that they could use as floor show dances between the big dances on the field. Well, to make a long story short, Quinn’s class was one of the 2. The LDS lady didn’t want little kids, but as soon as she saw what they could do, she was delighted with them. Anyway, Quinn and her little class of 12 was in the Dance Festival at the ASU Football stadium and flipped, cart-wheeled and bounced in a little clown dance in front of a crowd of 40,000 people! Talk about tickled! I guess it made Gerald and I so nervous but she wasn’t the least bit concerned—she just thought it was fun. That is the most important thing, though. We are so pleased with the children’s violin lessons. They are taking the Suzuki method. Chip is in with a group of 3 little boys and Quinn with 3 little girls. They are mostly from the neighborhood and are LDS and they are coming right along. It is very difficult because I have to sit right down with them constantly as they practice. Unfortunately it is not a thing where I can say, “Go do your practicing!” Since they are now just beginning to read the music, they have learned for the past year just by memory and ear. Chip can just play about any hymn by ear now but his favorite is “Scooby Doo.’ The theory behind the method is to teach them by memory and ear first so that they can get a feel for the instrument and an ear for the music and then introduce reading the music. We are really pleased with it and I think that we will start Susannah at the beginning of the year. I have already purchased her violin (it is 1/8 the size of a normal violin) and she is always wanting to get it out and play. Let me know if any of you will be here on June 28th. If so, I am sure that Chip will assign you a part on his baptism. This is a very exciting time in our family as he will be baptized then. I just love our stake here because they have the policy that each person baptized gets his own baptism—not handled on a stake basis. We have wanted it to be a very memorable experience for Chip and he can hardly wait. I will conduct. My mom and Mums will say the opening and closing prayers. Quinn will lead the singing and Susannah will say a scripture. My sis and I will sing a song. His violin teacher (who is not LDS) will play (Oh How Lovely Was the Morning) and his Primary teacher will give the talk. He just found out last night that Uncle Devin will be here too, and he said, “Do you think “Uncle Kevin could run the projector?” Gerald and I took him down to the Scout store about 4 weeks ago and bought him his uniform. He hung it up in his Daddy’s closet and goes in there and just looks at it. Last Saturday I sent G and Chip down to a photo studio and had both their pics taken together in their uniforms. Susannah is just a pistol. She forever bounces in and lights up our lives. She is such a strong and independent spirit, but simply worships the ground Quinn walks on. I hope she keeps it up. She informed me the other day, however, that she wishes she was in Virgie’s family. When asking her why, she said, “Because they have a trampoline, a bunny, and a swimming pool.” When she was the look of horror on my face, she added, “But don’t worry, Mom, Virgie will be my mom but you can be my Grandma!” I think that we are going to have a lot on our hands as I look down the road with that child. WE LOVE YOUALL WITH ALL OUR HEARTS. THANKS FOR THE MANY MANY KINDNESSES YOU SHOW—PHONE CALLS, BABYSITTING, BACK RUBS, SURPRISE BOXES AND MOSTLY PRAYERS! GQCQ and S.
Written on the side: The kids and I plan to be in Provo Aug 5-12. Gerald is going to a Scout Jamboree.
Gerald’s next 2 treatments are June 18 and July 9th. We (family) plan to be in LA July 12-16—Gerald teaching in Pamona. See you PSJ&B
Gerald and April--Life in LA
1974-5 “APRIL HAS BULDOZED ME!”
Things over here are really hectic, and I’m about to go nuts trying to get everything taken care of. The VW is in the shop now, and the Malibu needs to be tuned as soon as the VW is out. ¾ of our furniture is still in El Paso, and the ¼ that is here in L.A. is just dumped in our apartment. That a mess. Hopefully we can get everything settled in a few weeks.
On top of all this, we’re broke. You won’t believe this, but April has bulldozed me into buying 3 suits in the last week or so. One in Phoenix and two here in L.A. They were all good deals—average was about $55 a piece, but still-we’re broke and no paycheck till the 7th of Oct. What a sad life.
We looked and looked on the west side for an apartment, but we struck out completely. We found only 2 places out of at least 100 that checked out or read signs on that would allow children. One was already full, and the other was so dumpy looking and high priced, that we didn’t even bother going in. I can’t believe the number of ADULTS ONLY apartments out here. We have found out form experience in our short weeks here, that babies are a real novelty. There just aren’t very many of them here. Anyway, we went to Glendale and bought a local newspaper and checked out an ad, all the way up in La Cresenta which is above Glendale. The place was $195 although the inside was nice, and exterior looked OK, the inside courtyard looked like a cell block. Even so, we were considering it and in talking to the manager, April asked where the closest LDS church was, and come to find out the manager was LDS. Not only that, but the next two complexes were LDS managed. To make a long story short the next place was $185 + utilities and is very nice, pool etc. WE took it and are really happy.
1974-5 “FIRST WAVE OF DISAPPOINTMENT”
Things in L.A. aren’t going so well. The first wave of disappointment has begun to set in. I am so sick of just sitting in the office, plus that I have tried to transfer to the tax dept, and they won’t let me until after busy season which means that I will lose a year as far as promotion in the tax dept. goes.
1975-05 “WO IS ME”
Now Park, after all of that—doesn’t tracting sound easy. Boy you’ve got it made. Just wait until you’re married and have an 11 month old bag of wiggles and squirms. Oh how simple the life of a missionary is. That part that bothers me is that as I look into the future, I see things going only one direction—more hectic.
Chipper has been really sick lately. He got horrible coughing spells which never get any better unless we take him in to the doc. Last week he got bronchitis, and the doctor told us that he is probably getting the infection in the nursery at church. The result is that we can’t put him in the nursery for 3 months—that in turn means I have to take care of him in Sunday School. Oh boy, what a mess. It’s also pretty apparent that he is developing asthma and I am bracing myself for the worst. April has an appointment to take him into the specialist, and we will find out how bad it is. One bad thing is that a lot of his allergies won’t have begun to surface yet. I can just see it now—all of my children will wind up with terrific allergies and I will wind up doing all the yard work for ever and ever. Wo is me!!
1976-03-14 “SHE WAS SUCH AN UGLY LITTLE THING” (April writing)
Lots has happened to our little family these last three weeks. We are very thankful for our little daughter Quinn and have found such joy in her sweet little spirit. She is an absolute doll and never cries except when she is hungry. We have had only one bad night since she came so I’m thankful for that. I will be glad when she sleeps a little longer between feedings, though. This 3-3 ½- 4 hour bit really gets old fast, doesn’t it? We had a little bit of trouble in getting her here (at least harder than Chipper). She was posterior in the birth canal (that is face up) and the doctor had to turn her around while still in the canal. It took about 30 minutes to do that but once she was turned, she came immediately. She was such an ugly little thing when she was born. Gerald and I have always kidded each other about which one of our children would bet my Dad’s big nose and when we took the first look at Quinn, we were sure she was the lucky one! Her nose was spread half way across her face, her head was so out of proportion, it was bruised and lumpy—in short, that little thing looked pitiful. However, we are pleased to report that now she is a cute young lady (the picture doesn’t do her justice!) Boy, do I ever sound like an obnoxiously proud mother! But I am so that’s that! We took her to church last night for the first time and that was fun, too. The biggest change I know that I will find now that we have two little ones the age that they are is that I won’t be able to get out and around like I have done. Did you, Alita, Pam and Mom find that was a problem when the others came along? How do you go grocery shopping or any kind of shopping for that matter? Hey, that will make Gerald happy! But it sure is fun and we kind of like having a little girl around.
I wish I could say that our little Number #1 son was being such and angel but we have really had our share of catastrophes as far as he is concerned since Quinn was born. To start the whole thing off, the day that we came home from the hospital, Gerald took him down to the doctor’s office to get a measles shot. There has been a measles epidemic here in LA and Chip had never gotten his vaccination. Gerald had stayed home that day and was a little bit reluctant (to say the least) to spend his day at home in the Dr. office. Nevertheless, I persuaded him to go. On his way home he had to stop by a garage because the Malibu was giving us some problems. He had called the mechanic before and the mechanic told him to just drive up and honk and he would come out and they would take the car for a little dive to see what the matter was. When he got there, he honked and the fellow didn’t come out. So Gerald hopped out of the car, put it in park, left the ignition on with Chip in the back and was standing 10 feet away for 10 seconds when he saw the car moving with old Pernelli Romney at the wheel.! Yes, it did crash and no, Crusher wasn’t hurt, but yes, the Malibu was. The only time it has ever been in a wreck, guess who had to do it--$450 worth! Let this be a lesson to all—never leave a little one in a car with the ignition on! Better yet, never leave a little one in the car period. The next day was pretty exciting, too. We have a darling family across the street from us that we are trying to fellowship. They are so nice and friendly but Catholic. They have three children—a boy 4 and twin girls Chip’s age. Carol came over and wanted to know if Chip could come over and play with the kids in their back yard. Of course I said YES because he had been wearing my patience a little thin that particular morning. In the mean time, I got in the shower, washed my hair, etc. and was just getting ready to curl it. It was almost dry and I have a permanent in my hair and when it isn’t curled and just dry, it looks like and extra long afro—frizzy and all. Well, I looked a sight and the doorbell rang. I went to the door and the little 4 year-old said, come quick, Chip is hurt! So I ran over to the house and here he was, leaning over the sink with blood all over him—he had wiped out on a motorcar and split his head open. The doctor wasn’t in and so I had to take him to the hospital emergency. I was really proud of him, though, because he never cried—not even when he fell—until he got in the emergency room and they tried to strap him down! Then you could have heard him all he way to El Paso! Because of the nature of the cut, they had to give him an x-ray, too, which meant more strapping down and to top it off, he moved after 20 minutes of x-rays and they had to do it again. I am convinced that Heavenly Father is giving us second chances with this little boy. If all we had were first chances, none of us would ever make it! A week later, I noticed a little sore on his chest, which looked like someone had taken a cigarette and burned a little circle on his skin. I watched it for a few days and it kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Then little bumps all over his chest and arm started to appear. I took him to the doctor again and found out that he has empatigo. I am not sure on the spelling, but it is a very contagious skin ailment that takes a while to go away. We hope this is all of the catastrophes in his little life for a while. He is getting to be just like his Daddy was, isn’t he, Mom?
Chip is also having quite a time adjusting to the new little one. I have decided to stay at home another we and not do any of my Primary work so that I can hopefully get him back to normal. He spends 30 minutes out of every hour in tears, it seems, and aside from it getting on our nerves, it’s so upsetting to see such an unhappy little fellow. I have really been trying to make special times for just the two of us and have them be frequent so that he can feel that his sister isn’t getting all the attention. She really sleeps most of the time so it isn’t that often that he sees me holding her or feeding her. He just realizes that our little family isn’t like it was and he is wondering why. I guess they all go through it but with the “terrible twos” almost here in addition to a new sister, it is a little more than he can handle—and more than his mama and daddy can handle, too!
Saturday turned out to be exciting too. Gerald is fixing up our unfinished basement room and we are putting in a washer and dryer, our freezer, and a large storage area down there. For the past month and a half, he has been so busy hooking up all the electricity, plumbing, etc. and on Saturday we had the washer put in and almost the dryer. The lady that we bought the dryer from had used it for two years and it has been in storage in her daughter’s garage for the past year. We went to look at it and at that time, Gerald made a comment on the rat droppings that were all over the garage. The dryer was in excellent condition and so we bought it. Well, to make a long story short, a pack rat had made its way inside the dryer and had built a little nest right next to the jets where the flame comes out in the dryer. When Gerald started it up, you can imagine the outcome. I heard this blood-curdling cry and ran down and saw smoke billowing out of the basement door—it had started in fire but we were able to put it out. We don’t know what will happen now—if the people will refund our money or if they will pay for a repairman. We are super disappointed, though, and are just keeping our fingers crossed
1976/09/07 “ABOUT THE FAMILY”
First, about the family—Chipper was a real terror when he got back from vacation. He would make it a life or death matter when it came to going to bed. It was a real trial, but now that the old routine is back it’s back to normal—only about 150% of what we can handle rather than 300%. This last weekend he was a really good boy and loads of fun. He tries to help out in whatever I do and is always right there.
Quinn is really growing and is scooting around now. She can’t crawl yet, but she gets where she wants to go. In scooting around she pushes off with her big toes and the other day April noticed she had two blisters on her toes. It looked kind of painful, but she kept right on going. She is going to be the only girl on the block with callused toes.
April and I have really committed our selves to our years supply program and last Friday we canned 35 quarts of peaches. We got the peaches from Army and they were sure good. The last two weekends I have really had the project. Underneath our house in what we call the basement I poured a concrete slab (built the forms, mixed the concrete and the whole works) to put our food supply on. Then Saturday I built a little platform to keep the stuff up off the concrete and stacked all the items. It was a real chore since there isn’t enough room to stand up and I can still feel it a little bit. I guess I’m a little out of shape.
1977/02/09 “CHIP AND HIS BIRTHDAY SUIT”
I got a ticket for speeding and it is the 3rd in 3 years and to keep it off my record I have to go to traffic school. I could just pay the $19.50 fine, but to keep it off I have to pay $8 and spend 8 hours in Saturday Traffic school. So I get to give up my day off—what a bite!! This ought to teach me.
The biggest news at home is that Quinn is walking now. It is so fun to watch her. She starts off across the room and you can see her start to lean and whoops—Down she goes. He’s getting pretty good though and doesn’t fall nearly as much. Imagine your self walking with 2 very, very stiff knees and swaying back and forth on every step and you’ve got her style down pat. She also says Dada, Mama, and ughhhhh!—The last translates to give me that bottle I see. She scrunches up her face into the weirdest contortions, That is one thing Chipper never did.
Chipper is having a great time too. He’s two and ½ now and really talking up a storm. In his prayers every night he remembers to bless Unca brent on his mission. He also thinks he is very grown up and is picking up various dialogue that he hears. The other day he came in with a scratch on his tummy and announced “Poorme, I hurt myself on my tummy.” He is also much better at minding now and is a pretty good boy all the way around. Last Saturday afternoon I was giving both him and his sister a bath, and after I finished dressing Quinn I couldn’t find Chipper. After awhile I found him in the back yard going to town on the swing—in his birthday suit.
Things over here are really hectic, and I’m about to go nuts trying to get everything taken care of. The VW is in the shop now, and the Malibu needs to be tuned as soon as the VW is out. ¾ of our furniture is still in El Paso, and the ¼ that is here in L.A. is just dumped in our apartment. That a mess. Hopefully we can get everything settled in a few weeks.
On top of all this, we’re broke. You won’t believe this, but April has bulldozed me into buying 3 suits in the last week or so. One in Phoenix and two here in L.A. They were all good deals—average was about $55 a piece, but still-we’re broke and no paycheck till the 7th of Oct. What a sad life.
We looked and looked on the west side for an apartment, but we struck out completely. We found only 2 places out of at least 100 that checked out or read signs on that would allow children. One was already full, and the other was so dumpy looking and high priced, that we didn’t even bother going in. I can’t believe the number of ADULTS ONLY apartments out here. We have found out form experience in our short weeks here, that babies are a real novelty. There just aren’t very many of them here. Anyway, we went to Glendale and bought a local newspaper and checked out an ad, all the way up in La Cresenta which is above Glendale. The place was $195 although the inside was nice, and exterior looked OK, the inside courtyard looked like a cell block. Even so, we were considering it and in talking to the manager, April asked where the closest LDS church was, and come to find out the manager was LDS. Not only that, but the next two complexes were LDS managed. To make a long story short the next place was $185 + utilities and is very nice, pool etc. WE took it and are really happy.
1974-5 “FIRST WAVE OF DISAPPOINTMENT”
Things in L.A. aren’t going so well. The first wave of disappointment has begun to set in. I am so sick of just sitting in the office, plus that I have tried to transfer to the tax dept, and they won’t let me until after busy season which means that I will lose a year as far as promotion in the tax dept. goes.
1975-05 “WO IS ME”
Now Park, after all of that—doesn’t tracting sound easy. Boy you’ve got it made. Just wait until you’re married and have an 11 month old bag of wiggles and squirms. Oh how simple the life of a missionary is. That part that bothers me is that as I look into the future, I see things going only one direction—more hectic.
Chipper has been really sick lately. He got horrible coughing spells which never get any better unless we take him in to the doc. Last week he got bronchitis, and the doctor told us that he is probably getting the infection in the nursery at church. The result is that we can’t put him in the nursery for 3 months—that in turn means I have to take care of him in Sunday School. Oh boy, what a mess. It’s also pretty apparent that he is developing asthma and I am bracing myself for the worst. April has an appointment to take him into the specialist, and we will find out how bad it is. One bad thing is that a lot of his allergies won’t have begun to surface yet. I can just see it now—all of my children will wind up with terrific allergies and I will wind up doing all the yard work for ever and ever. Wo is me!!
1976-03-14 “SHE WAS SUCH AN UGLY LITTLE THING” (April writing)
Lots has happened to our little family these last three weeks. We are very thankful for our little daughter Quinn and have found such joy in her sweet little spirit. She is an absolute doll and never cries except when she is hungry. We have had only one bad night since she came so I’m thankful for that. I will be glad when she sleeps a little longer between feedings, though. This 3-3 ½- 4 hour bit really gets old fast, doesn’t it? We had a little bit of trouble in getting her here (at least harder than Chipper). She was posterior in the birth canal (that is face up) and the doctor had to turn her around while still in the canal. It took about 30 minutes to do that but once she was turned, she came immediately. She was such an ugly little thing when she was born. Gerald and I have always kidded each other about which one of our children would bet my Dad’s big nose and when we took the first look at Quinn, we were sure she was the lucky one! Her nose was spread half way across her face, her head was so out of proportion, it was bruised and lumpy—in short, that little thing looked pitiful. However, we are pleased to report that now she is a cute young lady (the picture doesn’t do her justice!) Boy, do I ever sound like an obnoxiously proud mother! But I am so that’s that! We took her to church last night for the first time and that was fun, too. The biggest change I know that I will find now that we have two little ones the age that they are is that I won’t be able to get out and around like I have done. Did you, Alita, Pam and Mom find that was a problem when the others came along? How do you go grocery shopping or any kind of shopping for that matter? Hey, that will make Gerald happy! But it sure is fun and we kind of like having a little girl around.
I wish I could say that our little Number #1 son was being such and angel but we have really had our share of catastrophes as far as he is concerned since Quinn was born. To start the whole thing off, the day that we came home from the hospital, Gerald took him down to the doctor’s office to get a measles shot. There has been a measles epidemic here in LA and Chip had never gotten his vaccination. Gerald had stayed home that day and was a little bit reluctant (to say the least) to spend his day at home in the Dr. office. Nevertheless, I persuaded him to go. On his way home he had to stop by a garage because the Malibu was giving us some problems. He had called the mechanic before and the mechanic told him to just drive up and honk and he would come out and they would take the car for a little dive to see what the matter was. When he got there, he honked and the fellow didn’t come out. So Gerald hopped out of the car, put it in park, left the ignition on with Chip in the back and was standing 10 feet away for 10 seconds when he saw the car moving with old Pernelli Romney at the wheel.! Yes, it did crash and no, Crusher wasn’t hurt, but yes, the Malibu was. The only time it has ever been in a wreck, guess who had to do it--$450 worth! Let this be a lesson to all—never leave a little one in a car with the ignition on! Better yet, never leave a little one in the car period. The next day was pretty exciting, too. We have a darling family across the street from us that we are trying to fellowship. They are so nice and friendly but Catholic. They have three children—a boy 4 and twin girls Chip’s age. Carol came over and wanted to know if Chip could come over and play with the kids in their back yard. Of course I said YES because he had been wearing my patience a little thin that particular morning. In the mean time, I got in the shower, washed my hair, etc. and was just getting ready to curl it. It was almost dry and I have a permanent in my hair and when it isn’t curled and just dry, it looks like and extra long afro—frizzy and all. Well, I looked a sight and the doorbell rang. I went to the door and the little 4 year-old said, come quick, Chip is hurt! So I ran over to the house and here he was, leaning over the sink with blood all over him—he had wiped out on a motorcar and split his head open. The doctor wasn’t in and so I had to take him to the hospital emergency. I was really proud of him, though, because he never cried—not even when he fell—until he got in the emergency room and they tried to strap him down! Then you could have heard him all he way to El Paso! Because of the nature of the cut, they had to give him an x-ray, too, which meant more strapping down and to top it off, he moved after 20 minutes of x-rays and they had to do it again. I am convinced that Heavenly Father is giving us second chances with this little boy. If all we had were first chances, none of us would ever make it! A week later, I noticed a little sore on his chest, which looked like someone had taken a cigarette and burned a little circle on his skin. I watched it for a few days and it kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Then little bumps all over his chest and arm started to appear. I took him to the doctor again and found out that he has empatigo. I am not sure on the spelling, but it is a very contagious skin ailment that takes a while to go away. We hope this is all of the catastrophes in his little life for a while. He is getting to be just like his Daddy was, isn’t he, Mom?
Chip is also having quite a time adjusting to the new little one. I have decided to stay at home another we and not do any of my Primary work so that I can hopefully get him back to normal. He spends 30 minutes out of every hour in tears, it seems, and aside from it getting on our nerves, it’s so upsetting to see such an unhappy little fellow. I have really been trying to make special times for just the two of us and have them be frequent so that he can feel that his sister isn’t getting all the attention. She really sleeps most of the time so it isn’t that often that he sees me holding her or feeding her. He just realizes that our little family isn’t like it was and he is wondering why. I guess they all go through it but with the “terrible twos” almost here in addition to a new sister, it is a little more than he can handle—and more than his mama and daddy can handle, too!
Saturday turned out to be exciting too. Gerald is fixing up our unfinished basement room and we are putting in a washer and dryer, our freezer, and a large storage area down there. For the past month and a half, he has been so busy hooking up all the electricity, plumbing, etc. and on Saturday we had the washer put in and almost the dryer. The lady that we bought the dryer from had used it for two years and it has been in storage in her daughter’s garage for the past year. We went to look at it and at that time, Gerald made a comment on the rat droppings that were all over the garage. The dryer was in excellent condition and so we bought it. Well, to make a long story short, a pack rat had made its way inside the dryer and had built a little nest right next to the jets where the flame comes out in the dryer. When Gerald started it up, you can imagine the outcome. I heard this blood-curdling cry and ran down and saw smoke billowing out of the basement door—it had started in fire but we were able to put it out. We don’t know what will happen now—if the people will refund our money or if they will pay for a repairman. We are super disappointed, though, and are just keeping our fingers crossed
1976/09/07 “ABOUT THE FAMILY”
First, about the family—Chipper was a real terror when he got back from vacation. He would make it a life or death matter when it came to going to bed. It was a real trial, but now that the old routine is back it’s back to normal—only about 150% of what we can handle rather than 300%. This last weekend he was a really good boy and loads of fun. He tries to help out in whatever I do and is always right there.
Quinn is really growing and is scooting around now. She can’t crawl yet, but she gets where she wants to go. In scooting around she pushes off with her big toes and the other day April noticed she had two blisters on her toes. It looked kind of painful, but she kept right on going. She is going to be the only girl on the block with callused toes.
April and I have really committed our selves to our years supply program and last Friday we canned 35 quarts of peaches. We got the peaches from Army and they were sure good. The last two weekends I have really had the project. Underneath our house in what we call the basement I poured a concrete slab (built the forms, mixed the concrete and the whole works) to put our food supply on. Then Saturday I built a little platform to keep the stuff up off the concrete and stacked all the items. It was a real chore since there isn’t enough room to stand up and I can still feel it a little bit. I guess I’m a little out of shape.
1977/02/09 “CHIP AND HIS BIRTHDAY SUIT”
I got a ticket for speeding and it is the 3rd in 3 years and to keep it off my record I have to go to traffic school. I could just pay the $19.50 fine, but to keep it off I have to pay $8 and spend 8 hours in Saturday Traffic school. So I get to give up my day off—what a bite!! This ought to teach me.
The biggest news at home is that Quinn is walking now. It is so fun to watch her. She starts off across the room and you can see her start to lean and whoops—Down she goes. He’s getting pretty good though and doesn’t fall nearly as much. Imagine your self walking with 2 very, very stiff knees and swaying back and forth on every step and you’ve got her style down pat. She also says Dada, Mama, and ughhhhh!—The last translates to give me that bottle I see. She scrunches up her face into the weirdest contortions, That is one thing Chipper never did.
Chipper is having a great time too. He’s two and ½ now and really talking up a storm. In his prayers every night he remembers to bless Unca brent on his mission. He also thinks he is very grown up and is picking up various dialogue that he hears. The other day he came in with a scratch on his tummy and announced “Poorme, I hurt myself on my tummy.” He is also much better at minding now and is a pretty good boy all the way around. Last Saturday afternoon I was giving both him and his sister a bath, and after I finished dressing Quinn I couldn’t find Chipper. After awhile I found him in the back yard going to town on the swing—in his birthday suit.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Gerald and April--Young and married in Provo
1974/03/17 Childbirth Class
Things here in Provo are rather quiet and regular. One bright spot in the week comes every Tuesday evening when April and I go to the baby class. Here at our hospital the father is allowed in the delivery room if he completes a course (pre-natal). It is taught by one of April’s doctor’s wife, and it is a real blast. She makes the classes very interesting and at times very funny, besides giving a lot of helpful ideas. I am also encouraging April to go to a class teaching the Lamaz method of childbirth. The method stresses breathing methods that minimize or eliminate pain in child birth. The doctors in the area support the classes, although they caution not to expect it to do away with all the pain. I think it is a good idea so I’m encouraging April to go. She has been really sick this last week, and missed school Thursday and Friday. Thursday she finally went to the doctor, and found she had a bronchial infection. She used to take shots for asthma every week, but last year she tried to do without them. She still has pills to take when things are getting shut off and she can’t breathe, but it has been bothering her an awful lot lately. The pills speed up her system and especially her heart. It really bothers her and she hates to take them, but it is either the pill or no air. As a result, she is going to be skin tested and we will start up the shots again. It really hurts me too when she lays on the bed struggling for every breath.
03-4/1974 Laying down the law
April is just beginning to get pretty uncomfortable. The backaches are getting pretty bad, and she says her ribcage hurts a lot. I guess the baby keeps giving her the elbow or a knee in the ribs. I had never thought of that before, but I guess that would get pretty bad. She also is tired most of the time. School really wears her out, and then with the things she does around here she doesn’t get to bed very early sometimes. Her worst trick is to wash her hair about 10 o’clock and then “have to” stay up until it partially dries before she can go to bed. Of course that takes an hour and when she doesn’t get very much sleep she also gets on edge and things are rough for both of us. I really let her have it last time, and told her I didn’t care how dirty her hair was if she didn’t wash it earlier in the evening it would stay dirty.
1975/04/28 Church Callings
For those of you that don’t know, April and I have just been called to a new position here. I am the Asst. Stake clerk in charge of the historical records, and she is the typist for all the minutes I take. I am really looking forward to it and although it might sound odd, I really enjoy being a clerk. I suppose I am different that way as I don’t’ know too many people that like clerking. Maybe the reason I like it is because it is easy for me, where being an instructor in the elder’s quorum was really difficult. That assignment got me down sometimes-----especially when I would really prepare, and then have the lesson go to pot. What hurt also (and I suppose this shows my vanity) is to week after week notice that more and more guys went to the other instructors class. By the time the year was over the ratio was about 45 to 15. Next time I’ll just have to try harder.
1974/09/09 “One of the favorite parts of my life”
In El Paso I took the Pecos run for a week because I wanted to have one last chance to ride the trucks. That has been one of the favorite parts of my life, and it sure was a hard thing to give up. However, I will admit that I had my fill of leaving El Paso at midnight.
11/3/1974 Weight of the World
(Letter written days before taking the CPA Bar)
That brings up the next problem. I just can’t get in step with things. I just don’t care much about anything. I feel lazy, I’m putting on weight, have no drive, not reading scriptures regularly, not doing everything I should in my church calling, etc. I guess I’m just plain old blowing it. When I told you on the phone I really feel bad. You are so busy, going and going all the time and getting so much done. I really feel guilty. Every time I get a big burst of energy and get determined to do all these things, I have to do something else around the house, or take care of the baby, etc. Becoming a family man takes a little adjustment. I sometimes feel a little tied down, but I really sympathize with April. She is really confined. She stays home during the day, and except for an L.D.S. girl that lives here in the apartment, she doesn’t see many people or do much. Her whole day is built around when I come home. She wants to hear all about how the day has been and then have the two of us do things and go places. But I’m either tired, or else I want to study, or work on the books for the house, etc. It makes things not all peaches and cream. She is on the way up when I’m on the way down, and it is taking some real adjustment. I’m getting to the point where I’d even classify myself as a patient person, and more. Anyway, I don’t know why I’m writing all this except that I got started and it seems good to tell someone else about it too. Also, it lets you in on what some of the normal adjustments that come when you get married. It’s a great life though—I wouldn’t want to go back. Nonetheless, sometimes I wish things would go a little smoother.
Gee, I want to call you on the phone so bad I can taste it. I would except that our phone bill was $70 last month. That is ridiculous, but $25 was installation, $10 for long cords, and I can’t remember how much for deposit. The actual bill wasn’t that bad, but it only takes one of those and the budget is shot.
Things here in Provo are rather quiet and regular. One bright spot in the week comes every Tuesday evening when April and I go to the baby class. Here at our hospital the father is allowed in the delivery room if he completes a course (pre-natal). It is taught by one of April’s doctor’s wife, and it is a real blast. She makes the classes very interesting and at times very funny, besides giving a lot of helpful ideas. I am also encouraging April to go to a class teaching the Lamaz method of childbirth. The method stresses breathing methods that minimize or eliminate pain in child birth. The doctors in the area support the classes, although they caution not to expect it to do away with all the pain. I think it is a good idea so I’m encouraging April to go. She has been really sick this last week, and missed school Thursday and Friday. Thursday she finally went to the doctor, and found she had a bronchial infection. She used to take shots for asthma every week, but last year she tried to do without them. She still has pills to take when things are getting shut off and she can’t breathe, but it has been bothering her an awful lot lately. The pills speed up her system and especially her heart. It really bothers her and she hates to take them, but it is either the pill or no air. As a result, she is going to be skin tested and we will start up the shots again. It really hurts me too when she lays on the bed struggling for every breath.
03-4/1974 Laying down the law
April is just beginning to get pretty uncomfortable. The backaches are getting pretty bad, and she says her ribcage hurts a lot. I guess the baby keeps giving her the elbow or a knee in the ribs. I had never thought of that before, but I guess that would get pretty bad. She also is tired most of the time. School really wears her out, and then with the things she does around here she doesn’t get to bed very early sometimes. Her worst trick is to wash her hair about 10 o’clock and then “have to” stay up until it partially dries before she can go to bed. Of course that takes an hour and when she doesn’t get very much sleep she also gets on edge and things are rough for both of us. I really let her have it last time, and told her I didn’t care how dirty her hair was if she didn’t wash it earlier in the evening it would stay dirty.
1975/04/28 Church Callings
For those of you that don’t know, April and I have just been called to a new position here. I am the Asst. Stake clerk in charge of the historical records, and she is the typist for all the minutes I take. I am really looking forward to it and although it might sound odd, I really enjoy being a clerk. I suppose I am different that way as I don’t’ know too many people that like clerking. Maybe the reason I like it is because it is easy for me, where being an instructor in the elder’s quorum was really difficult. That assignment got me down sometimes-----especially when I would really prepare, and then have the lesson go to pot. What hurt also (and I suppose this shows my vanity) is to week after week notice that more and more guys went to the other instructors class. By the time the year was over the ratio was about 45 to 15. Next time I’ll just have to try harder.
1974/09/09 “One of the favorite parts of my life”
In El Paso I took the Pecos run for a week because I wanted to have one last chance to ride the trucks. That has been one of the favorite parts of my life, and it sure was a hard thing to give up. However, I will admit that I had my fill of leaving El Paso at midnight.
11/3/1974 Weight of the World
(Letter written days before taking the CPA Bar)
That brings up the next problem. I just can’t get in step with things. I just don’t care much about anything. I feel lazy, I’m putting on weight, have no drive, not reading scriptures regularly, not doing everything I should in my church calling, etc. I guess I’m just plain old blowing it. When I told you on the phone I really feel bad. You are so busy, going and going all the time and getting so much done. I really feel guilty. Every time I get a big burst of energy and get determined to do all these things, I have to do something else around the house, or take care of the baby, etc. Becoming a family man takes a little adjustment. I sometimes feel a little tied down, but I really sympathize with April. She is really confined. She stays home during the day, and except for an L.D.S. girl that lives here in the apartment, she doesn’t see many people or do much. Her whole day is built around when I come home. She wants to hear all about how the day has been and then have the two of us do things and go places. But I’m either tired, or else I want to study, or work on the books for the house, etc. It makes things not all peaches and cream. She is on the way up when I’m on the way down, and it is taking some real adjustment. I’m getting to the point where I’d even classify myself as a patient person, and more. Anyway, I don’t know why I’m writing all this except that I got started and it seems good to tell someone else about it too. Also, it lets you in on what some of the normal adjustments that come when you get married. It’s a great life though—I wouldn’t want to go back. Nonetheless, sometimes I wish things would go a little smoother.
Gee, I want to call you on the phone so bad I can taste it. I would except that our phone bill was $70 last month. That is ridiculous, but $25 was installation, $10 for long cords, and I can’t remember how much for deposit. The actual bill wasn’t that bad, but it only takes one of those and the budget is shot.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Gerald--Missionary and RM before marriage
4/20/1970 “My moose”
I acquired a new problem last week—I now have a moose. To explain the word, moose means a girl that has her eyes set on a missionary and then sets out after him. “My moose” will probably set a mission record for the ugliest moose in the mission. She has one tooth in front and it is ¾ black from decay. Every time I walk into the chapel for MIA or on Sunday, there she is to talk to me and when she talks to me she stands about a foot in front of me, so I take a step backwards and she takes a step forward. Sometimes I get the biggest kick out of this problem---every missionary has the same problem—but it was a lot funnier when it was my companion instead of me.
1972-09-10 “There is nothing more important than self improvement.”
One of my classes this year is a class in Shakespeare, and I just love it. I never thought I would like it this much, but I would have to say it is just about my favorite. I don’t think that much of the class per se, but Shakespeare is really great. Our first assignment was Romeo and Juliet, and I never knew Shakespeare was so passionate. Wow!!! The pages just burned up as I read them. He is very skillful and once you catch on to his writing it is very enjoyable reading. You really ought to try reading some of his plays.
This year I have decided to make a lot of changes and form some good habits. Steve and I have challenged each other to get up at 6 each morning and run around the block once before we go to school. I also read that scriptures daily and attend the temple each week. I am going to stick with it this time and make it go. There is nothing more important than self improvement, and I’m not going to let school pressure or laziness foul up the program this year. I said I was going to do it this summer, but it just doesn’t work that way at the warehouse. I’ll let you know later how it goes.
My meeting starts in a little while so I better close. I haven’t got much done today as a bunch of mission buddies came over, and then I got into a big political discussion with the guys in the house. They ask me what I think just once, and I will shoot 2 hours before it is all over. In this political campaign, I’m going to learn to walk away from a debate once in awhile. It is beginning to take too much time. I had a big scrap at the Mc Govern booth at the Wilkinson Center with one of the campaign workers Thursday, and it was a lot of fun. I really turned him around to where he was for Mc Govern and advocating atomic bombs in Viet Nam at the same time. Pretty soon it was damn this and damn that and damn the other with out any reason or attempt to justify what he said. It is funny how people turn to profanity when they can’t express themselves.
1972-09-12 “Something just might happen”
(to Marshall)
April was up last weekend, and we really had a good time. I was really happy. We had a great time and some great talks. Things are going pretty well, and if the current trend continues something just might happen. Sun. night we talked about some delicate points, and we are both at work trying to see what we can do about it. It is very possible that she will be going on a mission in Jan. after the semester is over. Both her home and BYU Bishops have advised her to go, and she is thinking and praying about it. It is my own UNSUPPORTED belief that she will go, but then I don’t have any way of knowing. I think it would be great for her.
I acquired a new problem last week—I now have a moose. To explain the word, moose means a girl that has her eyes set on a missionary and then sets out after him. “My moose” will probably set a mission record for the ugliest moose in the mission. She has one tooth in front and it is ¾ black from decay. Every time I walk into the chapel for MIA or on Sunday, there she is to talk to me and when she talks to me she stands about a foot in front of me, so I take a step backwards and she takes a step forward. Sometimes I get the biggest kick out of this problem---every missionary has the same problem—but it was a lot funnier when it was my companion instead of me.
1972-09-10 “There is nothing more important than self improvement.”
One of my classes this year is a class in Shakespeare, and I just love it. I never thought I would like it this much, but I would have to say it is just about my favorite. I don’t think that much of the class per se, but Shakespeare is really great. Our first assignment was Romeo and Juliet, and I never knew Shakespeare was so passionate. Wow!!! The pages just burned up as I read them. He is very skillful and once you catch on to his writing it is very enjoyable reading. You really ought to try reading some of his plays.
This year I have decided to make a lot of changes and form some good habits. Steve and I have challenged each other to get up at 6 each morning and run around the block once before we go to school. I also read that scriptures daily and attend the temple each week. I am going to stick with it this time and make it go. There is nothing more important than self improvement, and I’m not going to let school pressure or laziness foul up the program this year. I said I was going to do it this summer, but it just doesn’t work that way at the warehouse. I’ll let you know later how it goes.
My meeting starts in a little while so I better close. I haven’t got much done today as a bunch of mission buddies came over, and then I got into a big political discussion with the guys in the house. They ask me what I think just once, and I will shoot 2 hours before it is all over. In this political campaign, I’m going to learn to walk away from a debate once in awhile. It is beginning to take too much time. I had a big scrap at the Mc Govern booth at the Wilkinson Center with one of the campaign workers Thursday, and it was a lot of fun. I really turned him around to where he was for Mc Govern and advocating atomic bombs in Viet Nam at the same time. Pretty soon it was damn this and damn that and damn the other with out any reason or attempt to justify what he said. It is funny how people turn to profanity when they can’t express themselves.
1972-09-12 “Something just might happen”
(to Marshall)
April was up last weekend, and we really had a good time. I was really happy. We had a great time and some great talks. Things are going pretty well, and if the current trend continues something just might happen. Sun. night we talked about some delicate points, and we are both at work trying to see what we can do about it. It is very possible that she will be going on a mission in Jan. after the semester is over. Both her home and BYU Bishops have advised her to go, and she is thinking and praying about it. It is my own UNSUPPORTED belief that she will go, but then I don’t have any way of knowing. I think it would be great for her.
Gerald--Freshman at BYU
10-07-1968 “CHARITY—KEEP GERALD IN SCHOOL FUND”
I apologize for all the spelling and typing errors. I’m doing my best which is not very good. You will all learn from experience why I almost failed typing.
Economics is my most fascinating course and I really put a lot of work in it because I enjoy it. It reminds me of good old RPC. The supply and demand on the economic terminology is familiar in most cases and the case histories are fascinating.
I am now issuing a public challenge: On or about Jan. 25, 1969 (or when ever I get home from semester break) I Gerald Romney, hereby challenge Marshall Romney, the older brother of the challenger to a wrestling match. For just once in my life I’ve got to win----then I’ll be satisfied. (All proceeds will be donated to charity—the keep Gerald in school fund.”
On Thurs. night I got a package from Vickie and wow—do rumors spread fast. Ten minutes later everyone on the floor knew I had a package and wanted to know how I “pulled it off.” When I brought the stuff Dad sent up to the room I checked to make sure that “all was clear.” A week ago I was always hungry at night, but now I’m stuffed. If this keeps on I’ll be as round as a ball by Christmas. Just one question—What am I supposed to do with the tomato sauce and the canned jalapeno peppers that you sent us Dad? Maybe I could use them as samples and set up Romney’s Mexican chile Importing Service.
10/11/68 THE WOES OF RIGHT AND LEFT
Thursday we marched in ROTC for the first time. It was really something I’d rather forget. I had weight lifting class in the morning and my muscles were sore to begin with because I worked out an extra hour. It was also the last game of the world series so I stayed and left for class with 3 minutes to get all the way across campus. Well, I ran full speed all the way across the campus in that darn wool uniform (which includes a heavy coat) in the middle of the afternoon. When I got across campus I found out that they changed the meeting place and I had to run ¾ of the way back to the dorms (only up a hill this time). When I finally got there I was 20 minutes late and sweating like a dog. To make things worse the leader made us fall in at attention for about 30 minutes, while they talked between themselves and tried to figure out what to do. I was just as sore ad I could be----every muscle and joint was tired, I could feel the sweat rolling down my side and that coat sure didn’t make things any cooler. But the very worst part was having to stand there at strict attention while those wool pants drove you crazy with all the itching. WE stood and stood and stood until they finally let us take a step—just to separate us into platoons. Then we stood some more until they finally divided us into squads. Then we did right face, left face, right face, about face, right face, left face etc. This was the only funny part. The poor squad leader didn’t know how to call out commands any better than we knew how to obey them. Brilliant Gerald was the only one in the squad that didn’t know right from left and I turned the wrong way about 25% of the time. It was to where the squad leader just gave up trying to teach me. If only I could see the scars on my thumbs from an attention position I’d never miss.
10/13/1968 MISSIONARY THEORY
The thing that I worry most about concerning my mission is not that I won’t baptize, but rather that the people that I baptize won’t stay with the church. I would rather baptize 5 active and strong members than 50 that stay with the church for just a few weeks or months.
You are right about me falling hard when I fell for Vickie, but I’m not so sure that it is so good for me. It sort of dampens the social get up and go that you have to have up here at the Y. It isn’t that big a drawback, though. I’ve got a couple of prospects that I am trying to decide between to see which one I would rather take to homecoming. This will be the first homecoming dance that I have ever been to. At Ysleta I just never did anything because I didn’t feel a part of anything. All my activities were centered around the church and church girls. I have also amended my ideas that there isn’t anybody to date in El Paso. Besides Vickie there are some real cute girls there that are my age group.
10/26/1968 “PRESSURE”
It is now Homecoming Saturday night and I’m sitting here writing letters. Sometimes I am glad that I didn’t get a date and other times I wish I had—oh well can’t please yourself all the time.
I was too cheap to buy a ticket to the big presidential rally for Pat Paulsen so I wasn’t going until a friend on the dorm said they needed ushers so I ushered for 20 minutes and saved $2.50. He is the most hilarious comedian I’ve heard in a long time. He really was up on BYU too, and cracked many jokes about them too.
I have decided that the hardest part of college academics is not how hard the subject matter is---it is easier than I thought it would be BUT I doubt that my grades will show it. The reason is the pressure. I blew a math test bad. The cotton picked professor gives you twice as many problems as you are used to doing, and gives you one hour—no time is allowed afterward, 1 hour and that is all. I knew the material forward and backward, but it sure isn’t going to show up that way. All the guys on the floor came to me for help, and I spent a long time explaining all this stuff and then they out do me on the test. I spent 1 ½ hours showing Sheryl how to do a problem, and then miss the same kind of problem on the test (she got it right). The whole test was just a review and I checked and I might not even pass it. I am really disgruntled----studying wouldn’t help, but I just got to learn how not to blow the thing up. Thank heavens there is a bright spot though. I missed an A+ on an Econ test by one testing unit (2 points or 1 Q). There were only 3 guys that out did me, so it isn’t all black.
Spanish really comes in handy, especially when Elbert Pratt and I play handball against 2 gringos. We usually lose, but we have more fun, cussing them out and patting ourselves on the back when they don’t know what’s going on. One of these days we are going to get an RM and then it will be bad news.
1968-11-02 “I FINALLY GOT INTO A GOOD ARGUMENT”
Wednesday night I had more fun than any other night I’ve been here. I was quietly studying when I heard a bunch of scuffling out in the hall and my reaction was instantaneous. I jumped up, took off my pillow case and ran out the door. Much to my delight it was a pillow fight all right and did I ever knock the sense out of one of my friends. I used the good old technique Marshall always used to clobber me-----grab his pillow with one arm and swing away with the other. Then it went to water. Boy was that dorm ever wet. I got a bunch of guys good and was almost all dry until one of my allies turned traitor and he and his roommate just soaked me. This guy had a small portable, old fashioned fire extinguisher that you pump and all I had was a glass. Oh well, can’t win them all.
At last I finally got into a good argument. It was at the Wilkenson Center, at the George Wallace booth. I went with the specific idea of heckling them and they wouldn’t even listen and debate me, but finally one of his supporters came along and gave me a good debate. He was about 40 and wasn’t too bright (a definite characteristic of most Wallace supporters). We went at it for about 45 minutes and even got a little audience and a whole lot of stares. I contended that George Wallace is too mentally unstable to be President and that he is worse than a 10 year old baby about being able to take criticism. If anyone says that he won’t win he automatically labels them liars. The President I think needs to have a little tact as well as being forceful If he disagrees with the polls he could say “I disagree, or you are wrong, but hot head Wallace comes out and says “you are liars” and “Nov. 5 is going to prove the polls to be the liars they are.” If he can’t handle criticism as a candidate, how will he handle it as President.
11/8/1968 “OVERWHELMING, OVERPOWERING, COMPLETE CONTEMPT FOR MOST CALIFORNIANS”
Marion G. Romney spoke at the devotional on Tuesday and afterwards I went down and met him - and guess what? He remembered Dad, but not me. I thought that was pretty good. He also cracked a couple of jokes about George Romney “who used to be my cousin, now I’m his cousin.”
I am about to starve up here. It has gotten to the point that I am still hungry after I eat. By the way, I have decided that the first meal that I would like to have at home is enchiladas, and then the next one is good old-fashioned beans. The food up here is the same old ordinary American meal all the time. It is usually good but it is too routine.
I am really looking forward to going home and getting warm. Man is it cold up here. It isn’t that bad except at 6:45 am when I have to walk to class and the wind is blowing. Barry, if you have something going on or if you won’t be home please write back and let me know. My telephone bill is about to kill me now.
Mom, at Thanksgiving I am going to bring my sewing home and, if you would, will you sew the stuff for me? I don’t even have a needle and thread up here (my excuse for taking it home). I don’t know how I do it but I have a hole in almost every pants pocket I’ve got. I also haven’t done any ironing; I just wear a shirt until it is dirty and then wash it. If it needs ironing, I don’t wear it anymore. Sheryl Mortensen might start doing some ironing for me because I am probably going to start tutoring her quite a bit since she is almost flunking and she has to keep up her grades to stay on the tennis team.
The biggest thing I’ve learned up here is an overwhelming, overpowering, complete, and total contempt for most Californians. That is the last place in the world I’d want to live. Of course, there a lot of exceptions but percentage wise you could hang them all and the world would be a lot better place. I swear, if they ever invent a 38-23-36 robot that is soft, California girls will be out of a job. They are the most egotistical people on earth.
November 14, 1968--GERALD AND THE PIE EATING CONTEST
When I came out of forum, they were having a pie-eating contest to promote the Skits-O-Frantic night they will have on Friday. Anyway, I was just watching and they said that they needed one more volunteer and I didn’t lose anytime. I’ve always wanted to be in a pie-eating contest. Well they took the pies out of the tins, they tied your hands behind your back, and then you had to eat the whole thing - 100%. There were 2 flavors (if you call them that) - Vanilla and Strawberry - and I got stuck with a Vanilla. When the announcer yelled “GO!” everybody, myself included, stuck their face in the pie and started to gulp. What a scream; I’m still laughing about it now. That Vanilla cream pie might as well have been flour and water; in fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were. I got about 3 gulps down and that was it as far as liking the pie was concerned; that was the most terrible stuff. I was doing well in the race so I kept going, but I gagged on every bite and that slowed me down. The crummy filling was all over my face, clinging tenaciously from my eyebrows, stuffed up my nose and down my neck. I gave up breathing early in the game (through the nose that is), but every time I tried to breathe through my mouth there was the indescribably terrible pie “plugging up the pipes.” My lungs must have got as much pie as the stomach. The guys with strawberry pies had it easier; they at least had some color. I later found out that they didn’t have any taste either, but the color made it a little better (all 3 of the 1st 3 finishers had strawberry). They looked so funny, all this red creamy filling smeared all over their faces and just gulping away on the pie like a rabid dog. Boy do I wish I had a picture of it. After the winners had been announced and our hands were freed, a couple of guys just plastered the announcer. He turned around right after I threw mine and there is nice big round white spot on his black overcoat from my pie. This was when the fun really began. One guy clobbered his friend and then turned around to run and I caught him right in the face.. It was just like the movies. Whatever the results, I’ll never eat another Vanilla cream pie as long as I live. There will probably be a couple of guys that are permanently cured from the habit of wanting a strawberry cream pie too if it was as bad as they say it was and after eating ½ of mine I have no hesitation about believing them. I still think that pie-eating contests are neat.
I just got back from going to a concert at the field house. It was free so I got on the stick and took advantage of the price. The group that played is called “The Happenings” and it was great. They played a variety of songs and they have recorded 3 different million seller records, the most famous of which was “See you in September.” Dad, I wish you were here so you could see a group that is popular with the teenagers that you would like. They played rock music but they also did some ballads, and a few movie themes like Exodus. It was the best group that I have ever heard and they had appeal to all age groups. They did imitations of the Beatles, Ed Sullivan, and Dean Martin that really cracked me up. They were really good.
It is really cold up here and I am about to freeze, especially at ROTC drill. It was 35 degrees outside and we had to march around holding a stupid rifle for 2 hours. We are not allowed to wear gloves unless they are GI and they haven’t issued any. My hands got so cold the first 30 minutes that I couldn’t feel them for the rest of the drill. Just one more to go though.
12/7/1968 “TIGHTWADS UNLIMITED”
I have been asked to join a fraternity up here at the Y. Three of my good friends are members and I wouldn’t mind being a member but I am just not much of a club lover. The main reason I didn’t join the frat (Alpha Phi Omega) is because I figured up that after I paid the fees, bought a blazer, etc. that it would cost me $60 to get in and that is just the beginning. Once you get in, it doesn’t do you much good unless you attend their parties, dinners, etc. and that would be even more expensive. Besides, I don’t date much up here anyway. Still, I would like to be a member of something up here, and I like the idea of being a fraternity member, but I like the idea at about $10 or maybe $15 worth at the VERY MOST. The heck with the whole thing if it costs $60 just to get started. Besides that, you would need a car to get to most of their activities and you must put in 2 hours of service to the University per week. I wouldn’t mind the service; in fact, that part sounds good - the fraternity is a service organization. When Marshall gets back, I think that he and I ought to form our own little club, and I’ll even let him be President. I’ve also got the name picked out TIGHTWADS UNLIMITED. Sound cheap enough? It ought to be an instant flop.
Speaking of money, I am broke. I sure hope my paycheck comes in Monday in the mail. I am writing this letter in my room instead of in the laundry room because I don’t have $.30 to run the cotton-pickin washing machine. I could have written a check earlier in the day (provided it wasn’t bigger than $3.30) but I’ve decided that college is too darned expensive and I’m not going to write any more checks until next semester. I figured that despite my scholarship, it would cost $1,000, and I am going to have to cut a lot of corners to do that. I am going to get, me a job for next semester, even if it’s shoveling snow at 4 am. When I come home at Christmas, I am going to write Mr. Baker the VP of Sales for Nesbits and see what I can come up with there, and also see Mr. Rodriguez of Der Weinersnetzel (sorry, I never could spell) and get a letter of recommendation; if I can’t work Nesbitts, maybe I could work for them. Who knows maybe I’d make a first rate Hot Dog chef.
4/20/1969 FIRST PARACHUTE JUMP
Well, I finally did it. Saturday, I made my first parachute jump. Dad, you were almost right—I almost chickened out. We had gone through training all day long and drilled over and over what to do, but when we got up in the airplane, 3,000 feet off the ground it sure is a long way down. When we got our chutes on, I was excited and a little bit scared too. That is when the adrenalin started flowing. We climbed in the airplane (a Cessna 182) and it took the thing a long time to get off the ground. We circled the airport once so that we could see what the target looked like from the air and then came over again to jump. Ordinarily all three jumpers get out of the plane in one pass, but with two beginners we went one at a time. All I saw of the other guy was him when he went zipping past the window. That was when I really got scared. I was facing the tail of the airplane with my back to the pilot. I had to scoot over by the door (or rather where the door would have been and when I looked out I was really shaking in my boots. We came over the airport and the instructor said “feet out.” The plane was going about 120-130, and it was hard to force my legs against the wind. I finally got my legs out, and the jumpmaster said “swing out “ I grabbed the wing strut with both hands and swung my body out of the plane and got one foot set on the wheel and the other on the leg of the wheel. Then the jumpmaster said “go.” I thought that I heard something and turned and looked at him and he said “go” again. I hesitated for just a moment and he said go again just as I pushed off. You are supposed to “hit an arch” (bend your back as far back as you can and spread your arms and legs) and count “Thousand one, thousand two, thousand 3, thousand 4, thousand 5. After I left the airplane all I could think of was “Oh Lord, please help me,” and then I felt the opening shock. Now I did what you were supposed to—look up and see if the canopy is fully deployed. It was so then I had to find the toggle handles that you use to steer the thing with. It seemed like forever before I found them, but it wasn’t more than a second. After I had them, I looked down to find the airport. Once I did that, all I had to do was steer the thing down, and enjoy the ride. You can’t imagine what it is like up there. It is so neat!!! I didn’t get to enjoy it as much as I would like because I had to spend most of the time making sure that I didn’t land on top of the terminal, or in a housing district. Next time, I’ll be able to see more and be aware of more. When you get close to the ground you have to put your ankles and knees together and look up at your parachute. If you look at the ground you will get “ground rush” and won’t be ready for it and get hurt. I got set, looked up and wham before I knew it I had hit the ground. They drilled us so much on how to land that it was just a reflex. First you hit your feet with the knees bent slightly, and with your muscles tight so that you don’t wind up sitting down. When you hit then you shift the body and fall on your calf, then the thigh, then rotate the shoulders as you fall on them. It is rather hard to put into words. It is an unnatural way to fall, and while they are teaching you, you really feel like a spastic. Unlike when you jump off of a chair or something you don’t feel like you hit the ground, but like the ground hit you. I had a medium landing, but it didn’t feel hard at all. Some of the advanced guys can even land standing up. All in all, it was quite an experience. It was scary at times, but the only time I was really scared was just before I had to get set to jump. Once I was out of the plane, I was never scared—I didn’t have time or sense enough to be before the chute opened, and after it was open there was no need to be. It was a lot like the time that I soloed. It was really something.
I apologize for all the spelling and typing errors. I’m doing my best which is not very good. You will all learn from experience why I almost failed typing.
Economics is my most fascinating course and I really put a lot of work in it because I enjoy it. It reminds me of good old RPC. The supply and demand on the economic terminology is familiar in most cases and the case histories are fascinating.
I am now issuing a public challenge: On or about Jan. 25, 1969 (or when ever I get home from semester break) I Gerald Romney, hereby challenge Marshall Romney, the older brother of the challenger to a wrestling match. For just once in my life I’ve got to win----then I’ll be satisfied. (All proceeds will be donated to charity—the keep Gerald in school fund.”
On Thurs. night I got a package from Vickie and wow—do rumors spread fast. Ten minutes later everyone on the floor knew I had a package and wanted to know how I “pulled it off.” When I brought the stuff Dad sent up to the room I checked to make sure that “all was clear.” A week ago I was always hungry at night, but now I’m stuffed. If this keeps on I’ll be as round as a ball by Christmas. Just one question—What am I supposed to do with the tomato sauce and the canned jalapeno peppers that you sent us Dad? Maybe I could use them as samples and set up Romney’s Mexican chile Importing Service.
10/11/68 THE WOES OF RIGHT AND LEFT
Thursday we marched in ROTC for the first time. It was really something I’d rather forget. I had weight lifting class in the morning and my muscles were sore to begin with because I worked out an extra hour. It was also the last game of the world series so I stayed and left for class with 3 minutes to get all the way across campus. Well, I ran full speed all the way across the campus in that darn wool uniform (which includes a heavy coat) in the middle of the afternoon. When I got across campus I found out that they changed the meeting place and I had to run ¾ of the way back to the dorms (only up a hill this time). When I finally got there I was 20 minutes late and sweating like a dog. To make things worse the leader made us fall in at attention for about 30 minutes, while they talked between themselves and tried to figure out what to do. I was just as sore ad I could be----every muscle and joint was tired, I could feel the sweat rolling down my side and that coat sure didn’t make things any cooler. But the very worst part was having to stand there at strict attention while those wool pants drove you crazy with all the itching. WE stood and stood and stood until they finally let us take a step—just to separate us into platoons. Then we stood some more until they finally divided us into squads. Then we did right face, left face, right face, about face, right face, left face etc. This was the only funny part. The poor squad leader didn’t know how to call out commands any better than we knew how to obey them. Brilliant Gerald was the only one in the squad that didn’t know right from left and I turned the wrong way about 25% of the time. It was to where the squad leader just gave up trying to teach me. If only I could see the scars on my thumbs from an attention position I’d never miss.
10/13/1968 MISSIONARY THEORY
The thing that I worry most about concerning my mission is not that I won’t baptize, but rather that the people that I baptize won’t stay with the church. I would rather baptize 5 active and strong members than 50 that stay with the church for just a few weeks or months.
You are right about me falling hard when I fell for Vickie, but I’m not so sure that it is so good for me. It sort of dampens the social get up and go that you have to have up here at the Y. It isn’t that big a drawback, though. I’ve got a couple of prospects that I am trying to decide between to see which one I would rather take to homecoming. This will be the first homecoming dance that I have ever been to. At Ysleta I just never did anything because I didn’t feel a part of anything. All my activities were centered around the church and church girls. I have also amended my ideas that there isn’t anybody to date in El Paso. Besides Vickie there are some real cute girls there that are my age group.
10/26/1968 “PRESSURE”
It is now Homecoming Saturday night and I’m sitting here writing letters. Sometimes I am glad that I didn’t get a date and other times I wish I had—oh well can’t please yourself all the time.
I was too cheap to buy a ticket to the big presidential rally for Pat Paulsen so I wasn’t going until a friend on the dorm said they needed ushers so I ushered for 20 minutes and saved $2.50. He is the most hilarious comedian I’ve heard in a long time. He really was up on BYU too, and cracked many jokes about them too.
I have decided that the hardest part of college academics is not how hard the subject matter is---it is easier than I thought it would be BUT I doubt that my grades will show it. The reason is the pressure. I blew a math test bad. The cotton picked professor gives you twice as many problems as you are used to doing, and gives you one hour—no time is allowed afterward, 1 hour and that is all. I knew the material forward and backward, but it sure isn’t going to show up that way. All the guys on the floor came to me for help, and I spent a long time explaining all this stuff and then they out do me on the test. I spent 1 ½ hours showing Sheryl how to do a problem, and then miss the same kind of problem on the test (she got it right). The whole test was just a review and I checked and I might not even pass it. I am really disgruntled----studying wouldn’t help, but I just got to learn how not to blow the thing up. Thank heavens there is a bright spot though. I missed an A+ on an Econ test by one testing unit (2 points or 1 Q). There were only 3 guys that out did me, so it isn’t all black.
Spanish really comes in handy, especially when Elbert Pratt and I play handball against 2 gringos. We usually lose, but we have more fun, cussing them out and patting ourselves on the back when they don’t know what’s going on. One of these days we are going to get an RM and then it will be bad news.
1968-11-02 “I FINALLY GOT INTO A GOOD ARGUMENT”
Wednesday night I had more fun than any other night I’ve been here. I was quietly studying when I heard a bunch of scuffling out in the hall and my reaction was instantaneous. I jumped up, took off my pillow case and ran out the door. Much to my delight it was a pillow fight all right and did I ever knock the sense out of one of my friends. I used the good old technique Marshall always used to clobber me-----grab his pillow with one arm and swing away with the other. Then it went to water. Boy was that dorm ever wet. I got a bunch of guys good and was almost all dry until one of my allies turned traitor and he and his roommate just soaked me. This guy had a small portable, old fashioned fire extinguisher that you pump and all I had was a glass. Oh well, can’t win them all.
At last I finally got into a good argument. It was at the Wilkenson Center, at the George Wallace booth. I went with the specific idea of heckling them and they wouldn’t even listen and debate me, but finally one of his supporters came along and gave me a good debate. He was about 40 and wasn’t too bright (a definite characteristic of most Wallace supporters). We went at it for about 45 minutes and even got a little audience and a whole lot of stares. I contended that George Wallace is too mentally unstable to be President and that he is worse than a 10 year old baby about being able to take criticism. If anyone says that he won’t win he automatically labels them liars. The President I think needs to have a little tact as well as being forceful If he disagrees with the polls he could say “I disagree, or you are wrong, but hot head Wallace comes out and says “you are liars” and “Nov. 5 is going to prove the polls to be the liars they are.” If he can’t handle criticism as a candidate, how will he handle it as President.
11/8/1968 “OVERWHELMING, OVERPOWERING, COMPLETE CONTEMPT FOR MOST CALIFORNIANS”
Marion G. Romney spoke at the devotional on Tuesday and afterwards I went down and met him - and guess what? He remembered Dad, but not me. I thought that was pretty good. He also cracked a couple of jokes about George Romney “who used to be my cousin, now I’m his cousin.”
I am about to starve up here. It has gotten to the point that I am still hungry after I eat. By the way, I have decided that the first meal that I would like to have at home is enchiladas, and then the next one is good old-fashioned beans. The food up here is the same old ordinary American meal all the time. It is usually good but it is too routine.
I am really looking forward to going home and getting warm. Man is it cold up here. It isn’t that bad except at 6:45 am when I have to walk to class and the wind is blowing. Barry, if you have something going on or if you won’t be home please write back and let me know. My telephone bill is about to kill me now.
Mom, at Thanksgiving I am going to bring my sewing home and, if you would, will you sew the stuff for me? I don’t even have a needle and thread up here (my excuse for taking it home). I don’t know how I do it but I have a hole in almost every pants pocket I’ve got. I also haven’t done any ironing; I just wear a shirt until it is dirty and then wash it. If it needs ironing, I don’t wear it anymore. Sheryl Mortensen might start doing some ironing for me because I am probably going to start tutoring her quite a bit since she is almost flunking and she has to keep up her grades to stay on the tennis team.
The biggest thing I’ve learned up here is an overwhelming, overpowering, complete, and total contempt for most Californians. That is the last place in the world I’d want to live. Of course, there a lot of exceptions but percentage wise you could hang them all and the world would be a lot better place. I swear, if they ever invent a 38-23-36 robot that is soft, California girls will be out of a job. They are the most egotistical people on earth.
November 14, 1968--GERALD AND THE PIE EATING CONTEST
When I came out of forum, they were having a pie-eating contest to promote the Skits-O-Frantic night they will have on Friday. Anyway, I was just watching and they said that they needed one more volunteer and I didn’t lose anytime. I’ve always wanted to be in a pie-eating contest. Well they took the pies out of the tins, they tied your hands behind your back, and then you had to eat the whole thing - 100%. There were 2 flavors (if you call them that) - Vanilla and Strawberry - and I got stuck with a Vanilla. When the announcer yelled “GO!” everybody, myself included, stuck their face in the pie and started to gulp. What a scream; I’m still laughing about it now. That Vanilla cream pie might as well have been flour and water; in fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were. I got about 3 gulps down and that was it as far as liking the pie was concerned; that was the most terrible stuff. I was doing well in the race so I kept going, but I gagged on every bite and that slowed me down. The crummy filling was all over my face, clinging tenaciously from my eyebrows, stuffed up my nose and down my neck. I gave up breathing early in the game (through the nose that is), but every time I tried to breathe through my mouth there was the indescribably terrible pie “plugging up the pipes.” My lungs must have got as much pie as the stomach. The guys with strawberry pies had it easier; they at least had some color. I later found out that they didn’t have any taste either, but the color made it a little better (all 3 of the 1st 3 finishers had strawberry). They looked so funny, all this red creamy filling smeared all over their faces and just gulping away on the pie like a rabid dog. Boy do I wish I had a picture of it. After the winners had been announced and our hands were freed, a couple of guys just plastered the announcer. He turned around right after I threw mine and there is nice big round white spot on his black overcoat from my pie. This was when the fun really began. One guy clobbered his friend and then turned around to run and I caught him right in the face.. It was just like the movies. Whatever the results, I’ll never eat another Vanilla cream pie as long as I live. There will probably be a couple of guys that are permanently cured from the habit of wanting a strawberry cream pie too if it was as bad as they say it was and after eating ½ of mine I have no hesitation about believing them. I still think that pie-eating contests are neat.
I just got back from going to a concert at the field house. It was free so I got on the stick and took advantage of the price. The group that played is called “The Happenings” and it was great. They played a variety of songs and they have recorded 3 different million seller records, the most famous of which was “See you in September.” Dad, I wish you were here so you could see a group that is popular with the teenagers that you would like. They played rock music but they also did some ballads, and a few movie themes like Exodus. It was the best group that I have ever heard and they had appeal to all age groups. They did imitations of the Beatles, Ed Sullivan, and Dean Martin that really cracked me up. They were really good.
It is really cold up here and I am about to freeze, especially at ROTC drill. It was 35 degrees outside and we had to march around holding a stupid rifle for 2 hours. We are not allowed to wear gloves unless they are GI and they haven’t issued any. My hands got so cold the first 30 minutes that I couldn’t feel them for the rest of the drill. Just one more to go though.
12/7/1968 “TIGHTWADS UNLIMITED”
I have been asked to join a fraternity up here at the Y. Three of my good friends are members and I wouldn’t mind being a member but I am just not much of a club lover. The main reason I didn’t join the frat (Alpha Phi Omega) is because I figured up that after I paid the fees, bought a blazer, etc. that it would cost me $60 to get in and that is just the beginning. Once you get in, it doesn’t do you much good unless you attend their parties, dinners, etc. and that would be even more expensive. Besides, I don’t date much up here anyway. Still, I would like to be a member of something up here, and I like the idea of being a fraternity member, but I like the idea at about $10 or maybe $15 worth at the VERY MOST. The heck with the whole thing if it costs $60 just to get started. Besides that, you would need a car to get to most of their activities and you must put in 2 hours of service to the University per week. I wouldn’t mind the service; in fact, that part sounds good - the fraternity is a service organization. When Marshall gets back, I think that he and I ought to form our own little club, and I’ll even let him be President. I’ve also got the name picked out TIGHTWADS UNLIMITED. Sound cheap enough? It ought to be an instant flop.
Speaking of money, I am broke. I sure hope my paycheck comes in Monday in the mail. I am writing this letter in my room instead of in the laundry room because I don’t have $.30 to run the cotton-pickin washing machine. I could have written a check earlier in the day (provided it wasn’t bigger than $3.30) but I’ve decided that college is too darned expensive and I’m not going to write any more checks until next semester. I figured that despite my scholarship, it would cost $1,000, and I am going to have to cut a lot of corners to do that. I am going to get, me a job for next semester, even if it’s shoveling snow at 4 am. When I come home at Christmas, I am going to write Mr. Baker the VP of Sales for Nesbits and see what I can come up with there, and also see Mr. Rodriguez of Der Weinersnetzel (sorry, I never could spell) and get a letter of recommendation; if I can’t work Nesbitts, maybe I could work for them. Who knows maybe I’d make a first rate Hot Dog chef.
4/20/1969 FIRST PARACHUTE JUMP
Well, I finally did it. Saturday, I made my first parachute jump. Dad, you were almost right—I almost chickened out. We had gone through training all day long and drilled over and over what to do, but when we got up in the airplane, 3,000 feet off the ground it sure is a long way down. When we got our chutes on, I was excited and a little bit scared too. That is when the adrenalin started flowing. We climbed in the airplane (a Cessna 182) and it took the thing a long time to get off the ground. We circled the airport once so that we could see what the target looked like from the air and then came over again to jump. Ordinarily all three jumpers get out of the plane in one pass, but with two beginners we went one at a time. All I saw of the other guy was him when he went zipping past the window. That was when I really got scared. I was facing the tail of the airplane with my back to the pilot. I had to scoot over by the door (or rather where the door would have been and when I looked out I was really shaking in my boots. We came over the airport and the instructor said “feet out.” The plane was going about 120-130, and it was hard to force my legs against the wind. I finally got my legs out, and the jumpmaster said “swing out “ I grabbed the wing strut with both hands and swung my body out of the plane and got one foot set on the wheel and the other on the leg of the wheel. Then the jumpmaster said “go.” I thought that I heard something and turned and looked at him and he said “go” again. I hesitated for just a moment and he said go again just as I pushed off. You are supposed to “hit an arch” (bend your back as far back as you can and spread your arms and legs) and count “Thousand one, thousand two, thousand 3, thousand 4, thousand 5. After I left the airplane all I could think of was “Oh Lord, please help me,” and then I felt the opening shock. Now I did what you were supposed to—look up and see if the canopy is fully deployed. It was so then I had to find the toggle handles that you use to steer the thing with. It seemed like forever before I found them, but it wasn’t more than a second. After I had them, I looked down to find the airport. Once I did that, all I had to do was steer the thing down, and enjoy the ride. You can’t imagine what it is like up there. It is so neat!!! I didn’t get to enjoy it as much as I would like because I had to spend most of the time making sure that I didn’t land on top of the terminal, or in a housing district. Next time, I’ll be able to see more and be aware of more. When you get close to the ground you have to put your ankles and knees together and look up at your parachute. If you look at the ground you will get “ground rush” and won’t be ready for it and get hurt. I got set, looked up and wham before I knew it I had hit the ground. They drilled us so much on how to land that it was just a reflex. First you hit your feet with the knees bent slightly, and with your muscles tight so that you don’t wind up sitting down. When you hit then you shift the body and fall on your calf, then the thigh, then rotate the shoulders as you fall on them. It is rather hard to put into words. It is an unnatural way to fall, and while they are teaching you, you really feel like a spastic. Unlike when you jump off of a chair or something you don’t feel like you hit the ground, but like the ground hit you. I had a medium landing, but it didn’t feel hard at all. Some of the advanced guys can even land standing up. All in all, it was quite an experience. It was scary at times, but the only time I was really scared was just before I had to get set to jump. Once I was out of the plane, I was never scared—I didn’t have time or sense enough to be before the chute opened, and after it was open there was no need to be. It was a lot like the time that I soloed. It was really something.
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